Anyone know how to meet local carers?
I am drowning here .
my mum is bedridden due to left side paralysis and with brain deficit .
she was a strong independent loving woman until that day in March when mum suffered a hemorrhagic brain stroke.
Life support, coma, rehab and today first day back home.
Everyday my sister and I have been going and staying with her since March and doing her personal care and now I find myself moving in with mum and petrified of a grim future.
Mum needs 24/7 attention , hardly sleeps and constantly needy.
I’m tired.
Carers come and just do a nappy change and off and it’s not even done with kindness and gentility.
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Hi Lilyali,
Welcome to the forum.
I’m so sorry to hear what happened to your Mum, life changing for her and you and your sister.
How old is your Mum and if you don’t mind me asking how old are you and your sister?
Honestly, it really doesn’t sound like home is the best place for her (nor for you).
You say she has a brain deficit - does she have mental capacity?
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Who decided she wa OK to go home? 6 weeks free care arranged? Carers Assessment done? Home assessed as suitable? All aids provided?
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Hi Lilyali, welcome to the forum. I’m so sorry to hear of everything you’ve been through. I agree with melly1 it doesn’t sound like home is the best place for your mum. Do you have a social
Worker that you can speak to with regard to how you feel and the situation. You can refuse to care if that’s the best thing long term for your mum and just as importantly yourself.
No one can be forced to care for a relative, not even a spouse. Hospitals are supposed to follow strict guidelines before a patient is discharged, but so often they ignore these. I had many battles over my mum’s care, yours is not a unique experience I’m afraid. I think you can find the rules on the main Carers UK website. At times like this, you have to concentrate on what mum NEEDS not what mum WANTS. Several times I had to ring the hospital CEO’s office, spoke to the PA, and complain about an UNSAFE DISCHARGE. Be sure to use these exact words, hospitals can be fined for them! You know mum better than anyone else. The hospital should have done an NHS Continuing Healthcare Checklist, involving you, before discharge. It’s really helpful when looking at mum’s future care needs, but may not have happened either?! You need and are entitled to a life of your own, Do you have Power of Attorney for mum? Know if she has over £23,000 in savings? Just yes/no is all we need, it’s the limit for free or subsidised care. Lots of things to consider. I’m only awake at this silly hour for yet another drink. Our steam traction engine is at a local show this week. Blisteringly hot, we’ve all been drinking loads but still feel dehydrated!
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