I find myself ashamedly struggling with a recent escalation in caring duties. My mum moved into a retirement flat round the corner from us around 8 years ago and settled well, despite multiple falls, two episodes of cancer, random TIA’s and a myriad of medical emergencies. (We know a lot of the local paramedic crew now )
Since the start of this year she has been in and out of hospital several times for various neurological emergencies which culminated in a sub dural brain haemorrhage which developed into an emergency and was operated on at a regional specialist centre. She is 90 this year. She survived the operation but has lost all confidence, strength and parts of her memory. She also suffers from incontinence. We decided she should move in here with us to see how well she recovers. It is looking extremely unlikely she will be able to go back to her own home now.
We are settled into the routine now and I feel trapped. I am the only driver in the house, since my husband had a stroke and subsequent seizure a couple years ago. I also work from home but it is becoming a juggle to keep her happy, safe, entertained, keep up to date with work and keep myself sane!! I collapsed at home with labrynthitis due to stress a couple months ago. Am still suffering after effects My husband is asking for us to have a holiday but I have no idea who could look after mum… she is adamant she is not going into a home/ respite … the guilt is overwhelming.
Sorry for long post… can’t really offload much on my kids… they help when they can but they are all working full time and i don’t feel it’s fair to dump my troubles on them… I guess I’m doing ok but right now I’m struggling with being a 24/7 carer.
Are any of you in a similar boat? Thanks for listening… I feel better writing it down and sending it to the ether!