no child should EVER have to be their parent’s carer - and not even now that you are ‘grown up’. It is a perpetual shame of the state that ANY child carers exist at all.
That said, of course they do exist…
Firstly, can you tell us a little more about what is wrong with your mum, and why she needs care in the first place (or does she only ‘want’ care - they are not the same thing, as many a carer here can testify…)
Is she physically ill (eg, wheelchair user, bed bound, etc?) or is she mentally ill in some way (or both!)
I take it you have no siblings and your dad is not on the scene??
Secondly, of course you should be ‘leaving home’ now - that is true for all young adults, and it is more than true for you after all you’ve done for your mum over the years, eating up your childhood.
Thirdly, are you a full time student at acollege/uni in your own home town, ie, tha is why you have been able to live at home, because your studies are local?
If that is so, then you ‘should’ I believe be eligible for some kind of accommodation loan, ie, on top of your student fees loan (which I assume you had to take out?). don’t be too alarmed at increasing your level of student debt - it’s pretty well understood these days that most students (unless they become City fat cat bankers!) will NEVER repay their student loan - ie, the repaymetns out of eventual salary (if it exceeds the c £20k-ish threshold)(I think it’s around that?) are simply going to form a lifelong ‘tax’ that is ‘worth it’ because your degree/qualification should enable you to get a better paid job than you could get without (what are you studying by the way?)
I appreciate that an accommodation loan may not be very generous (!), and that you may have to ‘top up’ by taking on extra part time jobs (eg, in the vacations, evenigns. weekends) but it should surely allow some hope of being able to pay for student accommodation (I say this because you cannot be the only Uk student whose parents can’t afford to contribute to their children’s student accommodation )(big change from my day - my grant covered all my living expenses!) (not generously, but enough)
Foruthly, of course, even if you do move out successfully, the most ‘difficult’ issue remains which is - if you are no longer ‘at home’ to provide whatever care it is your mum needs, then who will? This is why we need to understand what the situation is with your mum, first of all, in respect of her care needs.
For all the difficulties you face, make no mistake, you should NOT be spending your youth looking after your mum. NO young person should!