Do you ever get that look and/or comment ... a carer

Go to g.p. under the weather not feeling great. Why is it as a carer we often get that O’well look.
So as they look at your details a registered carer. Out the sentence comes …

I have been visiting the G.P’S for some years. Different issues back,neck head pain/s. I have been referred to different hospital depts. Always start with how old check. What job do you do? check. Oh well caring takes a toll. Yes, however I have always done varies type/s of care all my working life. Now just my husband.

Do you think we fall through the wayside. Go untreated and misdiagnosed.

Outside of CarerLand , we are seen as serving only a purpose … caring for our caree to save those on the outside
taking responsibility.

During my 10 year stretch , I was know as " The Pusher " … the invisible person pushing my mother in her wheelchair
to meet with those on the outside whenever her condition got too much for me to handle.

( I’m told that CarerWatch had a hand , even a leg , in the above cartoon.

i’ll soon know … when what’s left of CarerWatch send me their bill for " Royalties " … ?

" On me slate … the one ten foot high and gathering dust ! " )

Definitely, when my son with LD was young and incredibly hyperactive, I was on the verge of a breakdown, mainly through exhaustion. GP told me our local Social Services were useless. When he was 16, GP told SSD that M MUST go into residential care, but soon I was caring for a very disabled mum. Rather than support me, the practice wanted me to do more and more for mum. Then I developed a life threatening illness, consultant told me I should never care for anyone ever again. I asked why I’d developed such a serious problem. “25 years without a holiday didn’t do you any favours” was his reply!

Within 48 hours of discharge, with a 12" deep scar across my stomach after a “guts out” operation, the GP practice were bullying me to try and get me to look after mum, now bedbound. I refused. It turned out mum couldn’t walk at all as she had BROKEN HER LEG! She was admitted to hospital, not discharged for 5 months. Then the hospital bullied me to try and get me do her care and shopping - I couldn’t even do my own weekly shop without help.

My husband died suddenly, I complained to the practice that his heart disease was undiagnosed. Soon after, my GP (new South African, the old one had retired) tried to kick me out of the practice for daring to complain!

Last year I gave the practice the guidelines for a practice to follow towards carers. The Practice Manager said he’d never seen it before, and would try to implement the recommendations. The last GP I saw (who fortunately knew how much caring I’d done for my housebound mum) gave me medication to help me. Told me to go back to my counsellor, as she’d help make things easier. I told her that apparently she had some Magic Wands to help me. She laughed and told me she didn’t. So no one can really help, other than give me pills. I don’t take them unless I’m utterly stressed out, as I cannot afford the time to wake up, roll over, go back to sleep, and then drift aimlessly through the rest of the day!

No one remembers the tall slim girl who was so fit that she could run a mile without getting out of breath, that used to ride a road racing motor bike in hot pants and a midriff top, that shipped steam engines round the world, drove 9,000 miles to a steam rally etc. etc. but I’m still that girl inside.

Social Services never respect my degree or qualifications, as The Carer I’m not expected to be bright enough to understand anything complicated, read legislation and their policies.

Last week my husband’s best friend came to stay with us for a few days, on holiday from Australia. He is now the only person who remembers that girl.

Social Services and the doctor just see a fat 67 year old clapped out carer. How did I get here? I loved my son and my parents, but paid a terrible price.

in 2011, my GP diagnosed me with TATT syndrome - “Tired all the time” syndrome and said it was because I was a carer. Up to that point, I hadn’t realised I was one! She told me to seek some support as a carer - hence I joined the forum.

It certainly takes its toll mentally, emotionally and physically. I think only a carer fully appreciates what being a carer is like. My friends and colleagues always say they admire what I do, but none of them really understand.

Social care and health professionals don’t understand the reality unless they have done it themselves.



Social care and health professionals don’t understand the reality unless they have done it themselves.

Add our own supporting organisations to those as well ?

I still think we as carers get misdiagnosed. All being put down to carer duties. If anyone should know having looked after people ourselves is us!

I just find it so annoying! I have personally gone from pillar to post.

It would be interesting if several people appeared with same symptoms. And different occupations what the medical diagnosis/ outcome would be.

Not all symptoms come from caring duties. Some are just normal possible age related/gene issues.

I’m still alive thanks to a doctor at a hospital who suggested I had a scan to see why none of the medication I was taking for indigestion was working.
The scan showed I need an operation asap!

One must always add on the usual " Symptoms " of caring … loneliness / burn out / despair being the obvious ones
… almost common place in lone carers … I speak first hand on that one.

Only one real cure … stop caring ?

Even then , like a prisoner released from a long stretch , rehabilitation takes time … sometimes years.

And with the number of over 85s due to double in the next 25 years, we can expect the number of carers to double too

15 million and … £ 200 BILLION … here we come.

( The Government … " Make that £ 225 BILLION … if you please , slaves … sorry … dedicated carers ! " )

Fasten your seat belts !