Direct payments urgent advise

Hi wonder if you can help sitting her shaking at the thought of writing this I have a child 13 who has dylise at home me and mum provide his care he also
Has autism he gets direct payments and personal health care budget but I’ve bern spending the money on shopping bills as I had huge council tax bills and rent arrears etc I know am wrong am I have been suffering from carers burn out and mental health I’ve also been gambling hoping that I’ll get a huge win I’ve blocked my self from all these sites I don’t know we’re to turn my mum today has to wages as there’s not enough money in the account to pay her and I know I need to admit what I’ve done I don’t need ppl to be rude or judge me as I all ready beating up my self I fill stick shaky dizzy and making my self I’ll fill on the verge of a brakedown please advise me on we’re to start please do t judge me I’ve never broken the law on my life and frighted the police will get involved shall
I report my self to the police ? Thank you

Hi Ritchie.

My immediate reaction ?


Local CAB will probably be my choice as a first step :

Direct payments are a minefield at the best of times.

To misappropriate them is a crime … be warned IF your LA conducts an audit as many are now doing.

CAB NOW … and don’t spare the horses !

One positive ?

Your courage in posting what you did … and admitting a real problem.

That takes guts.

Thanks for taking time to listen I’ve felt like just running but I won’t am better then that and trying to get bs I
On track been up all night goggling which did t help am worried I’ll go to prison I’ve read story’s I can’t even loan the money to pay it back but I can offer to pay back though my benefits I fill sick with worry am ashamed that my pays will be stopped my mum will be our if a job and my son will have to go back to hosp for treatment with his autism that’s not gunna help but I fill better that’s it’s out there and I can slowly deal with it I’ve contacted citizen advice and made abd appt next step is to contact social work and arrange a appt I don’t wanba tell them over the phone do u think I should walk in a police station and explain to them also am so scared but it’s got to be done

CAB first , Ritchie !

You need their expertise BEFORE taking any additional step.


I defo will
See them
Monday 1st thing … my mum gutted she’s not been paid I’ve not told her yet payroll just said there’s not enough money in account thank god she’s my mum not a carer from agency but I fill so sick with worry it’s friday so not much more I can do before Monday I know it was wrong I was struggling I’ve missused the money and for that am ashamed very ashamed I’ve never broke the law before I also am in plans to donate a kidney to my son which has been making me so anxious

Good luck … you’ll need a degree of that in the circumstances.

Hi Chris quick update I got this all off my chest today I matched onto the direct payments building told them
They contacted my social care team sgevwas wonderful and I have a meeting with them
On Thursday she said worse case I’ll have to pay back but will get all direct payments stopped or someone else to mange them if carers can’t meet our needs thank you for listing when I was so low and gave me hope to face it instead of hiding away from stuff I feel lighter this evening am still nervous but I have a meeting with social services and direct payment team this week I know it’s disgusting and I felt so low my mental health was at braking point not that I want sympathies I just now need to face wat I did and step foward

Yep … like tooth ache … the longer one leaves it , the worse it gets ?

At face value , sounds friendly enough … only time will tell ?

On some manors , a lynching party more apt … ?

If you want the full s.p. on direct payments , shout.

I’d love a full s.p on direct payments your right time will tell but I am
Glad that it’s out in the open am guessing they can’t take what I don’t have but I will offer to pay back every penny even if it’s a bit each week the social work was very understand and asked why I didn’t reach out for help before now and I told her I was embrassed very embrassed she’s gunna try get me help and support in any way she can and said she’s always there to listen and find a way out of this siution thank you again

Direct Payments … sit down , pour yerself a stiff drink and :

Community Care … my choice as it sets out the obligations of all parties better than any of the others out there.

That forthcoming meeting … you’ll probably get a dose of that early on ?
( A friendly social worker ? Don’t forget a crucifix … an agent of the LA. )

Thank you for the heads up I will
Defo have a read of this keep
You updated we just have to see how it gose on Thursday

Your welcome , Ritchie.

Ritchie, when did you start with Direct Payments?

How long have you used direct payments for? Try not to stress.

I’ve been having direct payments for 5 years I know a long time I’ve never ever abused them
In till now it’s relly hard not to stress as my mum is my support network and she was not paid this month she knows we’re in meetings about it but once they stop
Age also be out of a job like I said I don’t need ppl to feel sorry fir me I just wanted a escape to treat my children have says out extra shopping bills was basically just trying keep my head above water I will face the conquest what ever they are but least am living cause few days I felt like running and not turning back :heart:

About 5 years ago :heart:


I used to have Direct Payments, but became very disillusioned with what I was expected to do for free, that in the end I gave up. Long story.

However, more recently, I have discovered that the council hadn’t been administering the scheme properly.

I was administering a large package of care, nearly £1,000 a week, and under those circumstances, I should have been given an amount to run the scheme and cover all my own costs like transport. The council expected me to pay all the costs myself, hundreds of miles a year, plus many hours more.

The council could have arranged for an “Individual Service Fund Manager” to deal with all the money management, tax, etc.

The council should have asked for copies of my accounts every 3 months, but never, ever, did!

You may have a very good defence to your problems by saying the council should have helped and supported you to manage the scheme, checked that it was still suitable for your family, at regular intervals.

Can I ask when you last had your Carers Assessment updated by the Council.
When was your son’s Needs Assessment last updated?
When did the council last check your DP records?

In your circumstances, I would suggest that you wouldn’t have got into this mess if they’d been doing their jobs properly!

As money is clearly an issue for you now, have you had a recent benefits check to make sure you have had everything you are entitled to?

A child on dialysis must be incredibly demanding both physically and emotionally. Has anyone mentioned NHS Continuing Healthcare to you. There is a chance that your son might qualify for free care, arranged by the NHS, not Social Services. Might be worth looking it up and seeing if he qualifies.

Hi I been asked for them
Every 6 months but just shoving them in a draw and they still been paying into my account I’ve had no support with managing them
At all just paid into my account and payroll take it out I just wanted a escape I think to buy the kids nice things that I couldn’t afford my cate package is quite big also my mum gets paid 1400 each month am just worried there get the police involved I have not gone clean with mum yet but am gunna have to the social worker said am so scared but do feel better that it’s out there I think I’ve actually been depressed but not admitting it myself I do need help I’d be happy to have a carer if they know how to do dylise so that’s not a bad thing I’ve not forged any bank statements or at thing like that I’ve just been honest my care plan gets updated yearly but social work team but as for dp am just let to do my own thing I don’t feel I’ve had any support with it to be fair but if I go into meeting stateing that there probably go mad don’t know what there there gunna do but the social worker was understanding and said she gets it and will support me in the meeting thank you listing

Read as if both parties have been negligent , Ritchie … both not fulfilling the obligations set out in the link posted earlier.

Still , more than time to draw a line and … start again ?

Has anyone mentioned NHS Continuing Healthcare to you ?

Consider it mentioned … time for a real good read … especially as it could well be the long term solution for your son :


Your next step is to ask Social Services for a “2014 Care Act Advocate”.

The advocate will be someone from an independent service, free of charge, who can help and support you through the meetings. When I’m stressed at meetings, some things go in one ear and out the other, so the advocate can make notes about what was said that we can go through afterwards.