Daughters mental health illness

I can’t accept my daughters illness
10 years since diagnosed with eating disorder although good weight now but not in her mind and diagnosed with simple schizophrenia now
The problem I have is the whole mental health system is a minefield and I literally sm going mad with everything to do with the situation for her from the section she is permanently on while a suitable house and care package is found for her which has been years because she’s relapsed and had to be sectioned again it’s been years now and I can’t cope with the guilt of not looking after her myself full time

Hi Karen,
How old is your daughter?
You sound utterly worn out with it all.
When did you last have a proper holiday when you could leave your cares at home and look after yourself for a change?
After I nearly had a breakdown with too many demands on my time, when I was disabled, I now do this. For two weeks every year I go to Greece. (However, I can only do this because people have died and left me some funds). My mobile phone no longer receives emails, after a member of my son’s staff kept emailing me when I was on holiday about his lawn mower cable every night! In the end I had to copy them to Social Services to tell him to leave me alone!!
My eldest son always knows how to contact me in case of a genuine emergency

When I couldn’t walk very well I had weeks away self catering in various places.
Once the clocks have changed, self catering prices fall drastically. Staying Monday to Friday is also cheap.
I didn’t sleep well, self catering meant I could get up when I wanted, have breakfast, go back to sleep or read a book until midday (which showed me just how tired I was) and could either eat out or have beans on toast for tea. I take my sewing machine and sew in the evenings!
If your daughter was born with a physical disability, that wouldn’t be your fault.
Neither is the schizophrenia.
Don’t blame yourself for not caring for her all the time.
My son has severe learning difficulties, a much loved member of the family, but I can’t care for him full time.
He comes home regularly, and I do all sorts of little things for him, but that’s not enough. He needs a team of carers and activities that I can’t give.
Be kind to yourself, stop blaming yourself. Step away from it all, just for a few days.
Everyone needs to leave you alone.
When I was really struggling I had counselling, now funded as part of my Carers Assessment.
When did you last have your Carers Assessment?

Hi Karen
What you are going through is a nightmare for you and it is normal to feel guilt, anguish and all the other things you are feeling over your daughter. It must be so hard not to be there.

I’m guessing you have been in forums for eating disorders and are looking in ones for schizophrenia to get informed about treatments and care etc.

Unfortunately I don’t have any help to offer, just well wishes and hopes that things will come together for your daughter to reach equilibrium and a stable state for her going forward.

Please keep checking back for replies.