I’m new to the forum. I care for my husband who has copd. The depression he is going through is awful and I try to keep optimistic but its really hard to keep up that positivity in the face of what is, essentially, a very sad situation. Not only that but I am not superhuman and one of the ways he copes with his feelings of loss is to take it out on me. I’ve got a good understanding of where these behaviours are coming from but sometimes it just gets too much to bear. I’ve read some of the messages posted here and I appreciate the fact that there are many people going through the same thing. I also care for my elderely mother who has dementia - she lives with us. Sometimes I feel very lonely and imprisoned.

Dear caro_2109
Hi Caro. Im Kristie and I am an online community host for Carers UK. I am sorry to hear the family situation you are in and i am sure that fellow carers will be able to offer you advice and support.
So, welcome to the forum. You are not alone in your caring role we are sure that many on here will understand exactly how you feel and will offer you the support that you need. Caring can be very lonely and the pandemic has made caring responsibilities challenging as many carers have been socially restricted and unable to attend social groups etc.
Carers UK are running online weekly meet ups for carers and you can find the information on how to register at Care For A Cuppa:-Online meetups | Carers UK. The second online weekly meet up is Share And Learn this can be found at :-Share and Learn | Carers UK.
Our Telephone Number is 0808 808 7777 and it is open and available to call from Monday to Friday between the hours of 9am-6pm. Our Email Address is:- (
They provide information and guidance to unpaid carers. This covers:-
-Benefits And Financial Support
-Your Rights As A Carer In The Workplace
-Carers Assessments And How To Get Support In Your Caring Role
-Services Available To Carers And The People You Care For
-How To Complain Effectively And Challenge Decisions
I hope this helps you.
Best Wishes

Hi Caro, welcome to the forum.
Your workload is too great.

How old is mum?
I know she only wants you to look after her, and so does your husband, but if you get ill it would be a disaster. Their care has to be arranged so you get regular time off.
Are husband and Mum both getting Attendance Allowance?
Do you have any domestic help?