Contribution to Household Expenses

My wife of over 50 years has been disabled a long time and I have looked after her but is now needing home care. For all of our married life we have had separate bank accounts, we shared all expenses. Now my wife needs home care which she will have to fund from her own assets, I however now pay the council tax and all other household expenses, I have taken sums from her account to date to cover her share of these expenses. Currently I am taking on increasing care tasks. What is considered reasonable expenses that I could deduct from her account ?

Dear James_2108
Hi. My name is Kristie and i volunteer here as an Online Community Host. I would like you to know that for your problem you could either wait until a carer gives you advice or to phone our telephone number which i will give to you below. I hope you will find the answer as to what contribution to household expenses your wife will have to pay out. I hope you will do this.
So welcome to the forum! You are not alone in your caring role on the forum we are sure that many on here will understand exactly how you feel and offer you the support that you need. Caring can be very lonely and the pandemic has made caring responsibilities challenging as many carers have been socially restricted and unable to attend social groups etc.
Carers UK are running online weekly meet ups for carers and you can find the information on how to register at Care For A Cuppa:-Online meetups | Carers UK. Then there is Share and Learn:-Share and Learn | Carers UK.
Our Telephone Number is 0808 808 7777 and we are open from Monday to Friday, 9am-6pm. Our Email Address is (
They provide information and guidance to unpaid carers. This covers:-
-Benefits And Financial Support
-Your Rights As A Carer In The Work Place
-Carers Assessments And How To Get Support In Your Caring Role
-Services Available To Carers And The People You Care For
-How To Complain Effectively And Challenge Decisions.
I hope you give Carers UK a telephone call.
Best Wishes

That’s a very difficult question to answer, there are no hard and fast rules about this sort of thing, as far as I’m aware.
If your wife has over about £23,000 in her own name, she is unlikely to get support from Social Services.
However, if she is very seriously disabled she may be entitled to NHS Continuing Healthcare, entirely free care.
Unfortunately, it’s very much a postcode lottery.

Do you have Power of Attorney? Is your wife capable of making her own decisions?

Is your name on your wife’s account?
I wasn’t allowed to take money from my husband’s account as it was in his name. We too had separate accounts and worked well for us until he became ill with strokes and vascular dementia. Too late sadly for power of attorney to be sorted as he lost capacity. I had to go down the court of protection route. Bank or utilities would not discuss anything with me until it was legally sorted. Fortunately direct debits were still paid. Hubby was in a nursing home.

My wife is at home , I have had power of Attorney for years.

Maybe contact the office of public guardianship, as you have power of attorney. They may be able to advise.