Hi. Im looking after my husband and my live-in mum 24/7. Both unable to walk/stand much. If i do plan to go out, i leave all food, drinks etc next to them. I did feel isolated, then i tried a “free taster session” with my local Rock Choir. It was daunting at first, but they team you with a helper. Its a fun choir, no auditions, informal. Has given me such a lift for that 2 hours a week! Maybe something to consider? Or an art class, book club, swim at the pool? My mum is lovely, but my husband (8 yrs younger!) gets insecure/frustrated, makes sarcastic remarks etc. So not just older men! Lately with the sunshine, Ive " been out too much" and am selfish, not a decent wife etc. Very hurtful.
Its really hard to get it right for everyone, including yourself.
Hi @NannyL68 and welcome. First off I have to say that the moment I read about the Rock Choir I had a mental image of Meat Loaf…could have been worse, I suppose, with Ozzy being in the news…
I’ve been a carer for years, and for a time worked in a carers centre, and one thing that is almost a constant is the selfishness of some of our carees. Partly it’s because they may well lean that way anyway, but also there’s the point that often they don’t have a lot else to think about.
Don’t get me wrong, they should be thinking about the needs of their carer too, but the immediate issue that drives them is their own needs - and that drowns out everything else. It’s especially bad if the person is unable to get out much. Even shopping trips can be considered an act of wanton debauchery. If. Only. 
Mum became increasingly self-centred as the dementia hit and took hold. It narrowed her world to the point where she barely thought about anyone else at all, or had forgotten them. With my Dad, it happened after his stroke, but got worse as he aged and gradually lost what little independence he had.
Just remember that your needs count as much as anyone else’s - if not more so. If you can’t look after your own needs, you’ll reach the point where you can’t look after your husband and mum.
@NannyL68 you have to put yourself first and enjoy your choir, which sounds great. Your husband is being selfish and you need to be strong (easier said than done I know) and you will feel guilt, which is how they make us feel.
You are in the right place to get support