Caring for an adult with SEN learning

I’m Robert and new to CarersUK and Jointly and currently care for my adopted daughter who has SEN learning since my adopting her in 1987 following my marriage to her mother who sadly passed 6 years ago. I manage well but have just got help from a good female married friend who comes in 3 times a week to shower her and wash her hair. My adopted daughter is 44 and gets on very well with this good female friend to whom I pay a small amount for each visit since she lives and works over 20 miles away but Im extremely grateful for her help and female friendship to my daughter. I’m 72 by the way. Robert.

Robert, my son was brain damaged at birth, now 40. I’m very worried by your post
When did your daughter last have a Needs Assessment from Social Services, and you, a Carers Assessment?
What benefits does she receive?
Who will care for her when you die?


I agree with Bowlingbun,
Its good that things are working well now. However it is important to make long-term plans for our adult children with SEN.

I have two sons with disabilities one who is 24 and one younger. My 24 year old is about to go into supported accomodation.

The last thing you want is an emergency placement If something happens to you…

Far better to consider long term plans now while you can assist with that choice. Anything else would be traumatic for your adult daughter.

Any update?

Cloudy gal, Just love your comment

The last thing you want is an emergency placement If something happens to you.

For over three weeks just prior to the lockdown I was contacting Social Services asking for a visit to make arrangements in case of emergency for my severely disabled daughter aged 51 who also has learning difficulties. All I got from them was a Carers Emergency Response Plan update. As my wife and I are in our 80s, we require a little more than a response plan. Unfortunately Social Servicers in Linconlshire appear to be run by people who have little idea about caring.



Its a shame social services are not seeing the urgency of the situation.

I have found that those who make “the most noise” get things sorted, usually.

I have had to make a real pest of myself. I haven’t wanted to be this way but the system has forced it.

Social services did not come up with supported housing and I asked and pestered for ages. Eventually I found one myself, however due to corona I have had to put it on hold.