Hi, im a carer for my mum. Im 19 and have been on carers allowance for a few

Hi Shauna … welcome to an extremely quiet forum as I type.

A kinship carer.

Much relevant information for kinship carers on the following thread :


Day to day caring ?

What support do you and your family receve ?

Another thread … all the basics when it comes to care at home … including needs and carer assessments :

[b][url]](][/b] Day%20to%20day%20caring%20? What%20support%20do%20you%20and%20your%20family%20receve%20? Another%20thread%20...%20all%20the%20basics%20when%20it%20comes%20to%20care%20at%20home%20...%20including%20needs%20and%20carer%20assessments%20: [b][url]**

Would becoming a care manager … as opposed to a kinship carer … be preferable IF that could be achieved ?

Have a ponder … then return to us here on the forum.

You are very young to be tied down to caring. Is this what you want to do for the years to come? What do you want your life to look like in five years time?

Whilst you think about the long term, let’s think about what you can do to improve your situation now.
The most obvious change would be for your older sister to share the care of your Mum or for her to have a Needs assessment and care workers come in to support her with personal care etc This would enable you to get a part time job as well as claiming carers allowance.

How old is your niece?



I also became the family “dogsbody”. Because I was intelligent but couldn’t work as I had a brain damaged son, as well as caring for my son, I was asked to do all sorts of things.

My younger brother was 8 years younger than me, looking back I think my mum had post natal depression, I looked after him so much that he called me his No.2 mummy and wanted me, not mum, to tuck him up in bed and read his bedtime stories etc. At that young age, I’d learned that it was my job to help everyone else!!

My “escape” was making myself unavailable by studying part time for an Honours degree!!
It took counselling when I was about 60 to finally realise that as far as mum (now physically disabled) was concerned, I was still being an "obedient little girl, never ever say “No” to anything I was asked to do.

My life could have been so different. You are being USED by mum and sister, FOR THEIR OWN ENDS. They really don’t care about you, they just want you to do what they don’t want to. It’s time sister made her own arrangements for her own child. If mum can’t do something, then she should accept carers to help her, NOT RUIN YOUR LIFE!!

i know this sounds incredibly hard of me, but I want you to realise that there is a big wide world out there, with opportunities for work, a husband, a home of your own, children, love, happiness. Your mum should want you to FLY, realise all your dreams. Don’t let them manipulate you any more.

Develop an “Escape Plan”. We can help you, we have helped others before. Start with your education. Do you have any qualifications? What would you like to do? Maybe stay and help the others a bit, whilst studying too?