Hi. My name is Paul I am am 48 and live in Manchester. I recently have had to care for my elderly mother that had a stroke two weeks ago. I have dropped my hours to four a day to care for her as she has substantial memory loss and confusion . I own a flat that due to cladding issues, I have to now pay four times the normal service charges unfortunately to pay for the remediation work. My bills are increasing but my work hours are decreasing! I will have to have my home repossessed. The Carers Allowance will not cover my bills. I don’t want to put my mum in a care home so will do all I can. I am just struggling with worry about everything and getting incredibly down. I have joined here to see if others are sharing the same experience.

Hi Paul,
I am an ex-carer and didn’t have your situation. I am so sorry for your situation. Even before your mother was ill, the cladding service charges have been on the news and it must be desperate.
Could you manage to keep working full-time if you had carers to visit your mother? I know that might not be a good enough solution, but your mother might be able to have carers paid for. It would just depend on her savings and income, not yours. I hope someone who could give you more advice from experience will reply soon. There should actually be a care package to look after your mother for six weeks after leaving hospital. and it is not in your interests to stop working, not just because of the reduced earnings but for your own life. I hope you can sort out a better situation.

Mum’s age and where is she currently living. Rented or home owner. Do you wish to live with Mum. I not suggesting you do. Retaining work is better for you.

Shelter may be able to put in the right direction.

Do you feel it’s your responsibility to pay for the replacement of the cladding.

Before you and/or Mum agreed come home. Did the hospital carry out a needs assessment.

I’d explore all other options with local authorities before stopping work. Your mother should have had a needs assessment and care plan put in place upon discharge. You need to manage your mum’s care, if you choose, rather than attempting to do it all yourself. Please consider your options first. Better to continue with your job and in your home and have the LA look after your mum, I would think.

Hello and welcome!

Are you aware you can claim PIP and ESA on your caree’s behalf? Citizens Advice can assist you with the forms. Call them up on Monday asking to talk with a benefits advisor or email.

Have the hospital talked with you about discharge and care plan or not? Insist on this. You need to contact social services tomorrow morning and request a needs assessment pronto. Insist on this too. Make the most of this. It is your golden chance to discuss all your concerns openly which is important. A social worker can come out to do one with you in your property.

IF you want to care for mum, there are a number of ways you can get financial help, depending on your savings, and to some extent mum’s savings too.

As far as your immediate financial issues are concerned, once mum has qualified for Attendance Allowance, then you will get Carers Allowance.
YOU can apply to manage mum’s benefits for her, by becoming her DWP Appointee (usually a quick and easy process) and claim AA if she is confused at the moment. AA is not means tested.

How much money mum has, or doesn’t, will affect her future care.
Does she have over £23,000 in savings (Yes/No)
Does she own or rent her home.

Ring Social Services tomorrow, explain that mum should have had a care plan before discharge from hospital, so please can the hospital discharge team come and visit and sort things out URGENTLY as you need to work!! If the first person you speak to starts talking about waiting lists, ask to speak to someone who can get things done.
Also ring the hospital, ring the CEO’s office and ask why nothing was done properly in mum’s case.

How confused is mum at the moment?
Does she know who you are and where you are?
Is she able to get to the toilet herself and arrange her personal care?
At the moment, would she be better in a rehabilitations hospital?