I have ongoing physical & emotional pain. I am 81 and have been my husbands carer after his stroke 4 years ago. I have MS and severe arthritis plus venous inefficiency in my legs. These problems are getting worse & I am struggling to continue to care for my husband. He has a carer 3 times a day but has learned helplessness brought on by a 7 month hospital stay after the strioke. He is cognitively OK but emotionally flat which I find hard to bear. I feel I no longer have the husband I knew. He has just had a weeks respite in a care home which he was OK with but I am now feeling very low as I think this will be the pattern of our lives from now on. I have fallen 6 times in the last 6 months & cannot walk without aids myself even in the house. We are both essentially housebound as I rarely go out anywhere as I find it too difficult. I am not sure I can go on.
Welcome to the forum. I’m sorry to have missed your post until now. It’s hugely difficult caring for someone else when you are disabled yourself. I know from personal experience after being disabled in a car accident. Fortunately knee replacements meant I could walk again after 5 years, but I now have chronic arthritis.
I know this may be a difficult question, but what would help you most now, and in the future? More help at home for both of you, or permanent residential care?
Are you both claiming Attendance Allowance?
Have Social Services done a recent Carers Assessment for you, and a Needs Assessment as well, for you and your husband?
@TheGyles also I don’t know if you like reading there is an app called Libby. All you need is your library card number ,and it has all magazines on there all different catagories and they are updated every time a new one comes out . There are also back dated copies . There are hundreds of them. There are also books and audio books. I don’t know if this is helpful to you.take care.
Hi @TheGyles
Welcome to the forum.
My auntie and uncle moved into the same care home together. My Auntie had dementia and my uncle had mobility problems. It worked really well for them. They had seperate rooms and spent time together and apart.
Their physical needs were taken care of and they had company and went on outings that appealed to them.
Worth a thought?
Another option would be retirement flats.