Can family members be a PA?

My daughter’s PA is past retirement age and DD and I both feel it is too much for her now following an op. She is a friend of mine so I don’t want any falling out over this and she often says if we want to find anybody younger then she doesn’t mind.

Over the winter she has hardly worked for us because we have been unable to find things to do. The last couple of weeks I have taken her out on Tuesdays (which was the PA day) myself because she finds the day very long and gets anxious in her flat while her partner is at work. We go to the shops, for coffee, for walks and we did a 4 week basic cookery course which was free.

After nearly 40 years I had hoped my caring days were over but it seems they’re not! I don’t want to sound mean or uncaring but if I take her out every Tuesday can I be paid as her PA?


Is your daughter’s PA paid for by LA via Direct Payments? My understanding is direct payments can not be used to pay family members if they live in the same household, that is for England though,
I believe there are different rules in other parts of the Uk. If you dont live in same household as your daughter then she should be able to use direct payments to pay you.
I looked at DPs for my mother a couple of years ago thats why i can remember the rule on employing family member. Im afraid i have no idea if LA are emplyoying and paying the PA directly themselves as to if they would pay you instead, my LA wont pay for any care unless its provided by cqc registered company though.


There are a lot of false stories about PA’s and Direct Payments spread by councils to avoid paying family members.
If you look at the Care Act Guidance it specifically says Direct Payments should be made available to everyone needing care, and that it’s up to the person needing care to choose how they are supported, and who by *“including friends and family”.

I’m so fed up with Hampshire telling lies I’ve decided to go to a solicitor. I’ll keep you posted.


My Daughter is 38 years old and has been through some appalling and downright dangerous care situations supplied by professionals. I have repeatedly had to step in to rescue and support her while dealing with a multitude of other responsibilities. Last Autumn she had a new Social Worker Assistant who actually got me listed as a PA and being paid via DP for 31 hours per week. I do many more than 31 hours per week but I am grateful to have been lifted out of poverty after the last twenty years !


Most councils still apply the rules under the Direct Payments legislation from 2003, which specifies that family members living with the person cannot normally be treated as paid carers unless they have specific knowledge and skills that would be difficult to find in the labour market.

If you don’t live with your daughter, there’s no reason not to pay you for those hours.

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DWP say that you can only “live” in one place, where you pay rent, utility bills etc.
For M, that’s his flat 15 miles away.
Hampshire, on the other hand, say that when he’s visiting me, he is “living with” me on those days, so they won’t pay me!
He’s here tonight and tomorrow, because he knows I have made an Easter cake, and will be making hot cross buns tomorrow. He used to work in a bakery at his school long ago, loves working with yeast dough, and putting the pastry crosses on The pastry is all ready and waiting in the fridge, along with some Easter biscuit mixture for him to roll out while the buns are rising.
Then we have to make the marzipan balls to go on the cake - everyone’s favourite. I always make my cakes shallower than most people, so everyone gets a nice looking slice, but it isn’t actually a huge amount of cake!

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Great minds, so do I, both at Christmas and Easter.

BB - I’d ask them for the legal background to that decision.

She doesn’t live with me but in her flat with her partner. As she doesn’t drive and we are in a fairly rural area the bus service is not brilliant. I would therefore be able to take her further afield.

In an ideal world I would prefer to find someone younger but she did have a younger girl some years ago but she used to spend a lot of time on her phone which my daughter and I didn’t like. She doesn’t like a lot of change and she doesn’t like people who boss her about. She has refused to have a couple of support workers who do this. Others work with her really well and she loves having them round.

I will therefore speak to the social worker about this. Thanks everyone.:clap::clap:

Good luck. It is hard to find a decent carer but they are out there. You are in my prayers.

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Thanks Charles, maybe I’ll try the Monitoring Officer this time?


Update. Spoke to County Hall about this and first they said I couldn’t be daughter’s PA. I said I understood I could as we lived separately and then they said I could.

Then she asked who organised the Direct payments, ie who signs the PA timesheets and I said I do. So she said I can’t employ myself!

I have left a message for social worker to ring me but I doubt if she will hurry herself.


Penny, you can get round this by using a payroll company and submitting your timesheets to them. Most local authorities have contracts with one or two payroll organisations and include the cost of using the payroll service in the direct payment figure. In our area they use Penderels Trust plus an other.


Thanks but I believe our LA does it all now. We used to have an organisation like that who were excellent and did everything but then the LA decided not to use them and do it all themselves. They are nowhere near as good.

Then if they are doing it themselves - and you are submitting time sheets to them to be paid - you aren’t paying yourself.

However, if they are just paying you the allocated DP each month to spend on her care and you are the one paying her PA out of the fund - this is a different.

Our LA pays Penderels the monthly amount and then payroll pays those who submit time sheets.

I don’t know if her Dad could do this, worth checking this out.

No they deal with the DPs. If daughter doesn’t use it all they claw it back. I have no say about anything else. All I do is check the PAs hours are correct, sign it and email to County Hall who pay her direct.

I wish Carers UK would take this up with the powers that be.

Whilst I agree that carers who want to work should be supported to do that, with appropriate support, there are many of us who through no fault of our own, are simply unable to work.
Some of us are pensioners, like me, and I get absolutely nothing.
My son doesn’t live with me, yesterday I had a meeting with Mencap that took all morning.
Today his washing machine died, and it took me nearly two hours in total to sort this out. I’d just come in from shopping when I read the message about 1pm, and immediately started dealing with it. I finally got my cuppa 2 hours later.

Without my support he couldn’t manage to live in “Supported Living” !!

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In which case they should be able to process your timesheets in the same way.

So do I BB! If my daughter did not have her partner she would not be able to live independently. While he is there she is fine and actually doesn’t want me to contact her but he works fulltime so she needs us a lot.

I feel just like you, still an unpaid carer. He goes to work about 8.30 am and she is straight on the phone to me. She either wants me to take her somewhere, ring the housing association about a repair, sort out an interview with an employment advisor, order her pills, hang a washed coat out for her in my garden (they live in a flat), sort out a problem with the agency who provides the support worker …… and that’s just this week!!!

They have done really well in many ways in the 2 years they have had the flat and it looks very clean and tidy but my caring role hasn’t really lessened. Today I picked her up, we went shopping, went to the bank, had a light lunch, read through the post she brought me and dropped her home again. 4 hours gone in a flash. I love her to bits but I still don’t seem to get much “me time”.

Bit dim today Melly. What do you mean please?