Being the one that has to just keep going

I am new to this forum and I am so tired. I have been a carer for my son who is now aged 22. He had ADHD, ASD and learning difficulties. My partner had to have his lower right leg amputated 6 months ago. so he has gone from working full time to nothing. I work from home anyway so things were good my son and I had our routines and it was all working. Now, I am fading fast, I am so tired having to look after both of them and working. My son is finding it very difficult to have his routine changed, my partner is finding everything difficult and I am stuck in the middle.

Hi Michelle, that’s a lot to deal with. Stop trying to be Superwoman and start yelling “HELP”!
My son, now 46, has similar problems. He had to leave home when he was 16 after I was so run down I had 14 courses of antibiotics in 12 months. Social Services were punishing me for making a formal complaint and withdrew support for his last 2 years home! My GP told them that he MUST leave home, in fact my health was ruined forever. He then went to boarding school, a farm college, residential home and now lives alone with carer support. I know it’s hard, but you have to think about your son’s future without you. If he moved out soon, somewhere nearby, you could enjoy his company more knowing that he is gradually becoming independent of you, but still see you a lot, and you could help him build a home of his own and teach the carers what he likes. In the meantime, how many hours support are you getting for him. Does he go to any day services?
Before your husband was discharged, did the hospital talk to your about your ability to care for husband, arrange free support for 6 weeks, then a long term package of care?
A friend of mine had his lower leg amputated after a motor bike accident while in his teens. The first couple of years were very difficult, but he went on to work for his brother in law, thatching!!! Now he runs his own property maintenance business. He keeps wearing his artificial knees out as he’s so active, but I remember how difficult it was learning to manage, getting the stump to heal, etc. etc. Is your husband getting any support from any relevant charity?
Both of them should be claiming PIP, both entitled to the highest rate as they need help when out and about. Do you EVER get any time to yourself? Do you have a dishwasher and tumble dryer?

Just to let you know I am sending love and positive thoughts Michelle.

I think Bowlingbun has offered some good advice.