Hi all. I am responsible for managing my 84 year old, severely disabled mum’s home, health and financial care. She can make all her own day to day decisions, but as she has lost some mental acuity due to previous strokes, my brother and I hold joint power of attorney for both financial and health related issues.
She pays for 4 daily visits, 7 days a week, from carers provided by a care agency. When we first set up this care package, she was assigned one carer who was rough, rude and unpleasant. Mum was distraught by his visits. I set up a meeting at her home with one of the managers from the care agency. During this meeting, mum gave her express instructions that she did NOT give permission for this man to enter her home. The care agency removed him from her carer rotation and things have been reasonably good since.
However, due to carer sickness and annual leave, mum was woken up this morning by this carer, whom she had banned from her home. I am beyond angry. Can you imagine what its like to be in such a vulnerable position - unable to get out of bed or go to the loo without assistance, only to be faced with someone who you have given instructions not to be let into your house?
I would really like to know what our rights are in this situation. Is this actually legal?
I would be so grateful for any advice you could give me on this.
Many thanks,
Lindsay
No, under no circumstances should he be supporting mum.
Contact the Care Quality Commission tomorrow, and make a formal complaint to the agency, by email, and ask for them to reply via email.
Is mum paying all her care fees, or do Social Service contribute. If SS involved, complain to them, again by email.
As mum’s care involves her personal care, she has a right to say she doesn’t want ANY man caring for her.
Hi Lindsay, I see you’ve just joined the forum so welcome.
My Mum is about to go home from rehab in hospital and will go back to have x4 carers per day x7 days per week like yours.
Advice given so far is spot-on, without doubt. I’ve had to complain to agency about certain carers in the past and things improve but then tend to slip again. (Your experience sounds worse though,with this scary "carer"guy.) I guess a lot depends on what else is available locally, at what cost and how much leverage you have. Having to keep on top of all this stuff is exhausting in itself and I totally relate to your feelings of anger. Your poor Mum. But poor YOU too. The emotional cost of caring is very high.
Thank you for the replies xx
It is indeed exhausting!
Unfortunately this happened twice today - this carer turned up for the lunch time visit DESPITE my having phoned the care supplier in the morning to complain.
I arrived at mums house to find her incapable of clear speech as she was crying so hard. I ended up losing my temper with the care suppliers - which I hate doing - to get it sorted out.
I’ve logged a description of the incident with the CQC and started a formal complaint procedure (via e-mail) with the care supplier, so will just have to see how that pans out.
Mum does pay for the service herself. I do sometimes worry how some of these poor people manage when they don’t have a close relative to look out for them!.
Thank you - it just helps to have people who understand to vent to!
Your responses are incredibly appreciated xxxxxx
I can’t believe any care agency would be so negligent as to send a single male carer to look after a vulnerable 84 year old Woman.
It beggars belief on their behalf and you are so right to complain.
My Mum refuses to have male carers full stop, she still has her dignity and luckily our care providers understand this.
If a male carer enters a home despite being told clearly not to, surely that is trespassing? To deal with intimate areas without consent is surely sexual abuse or assault?
Certainly make formal complaints to Social Services as they are required to protect vulnerable adults regardless of who pays the agency. Do NOT pay the agency for the time he spent with mum.