My father has dementia and other medical issues, he is double incontinent and often has falls. Many days he does not know where is, and often asks me when is it time to go home or has a fall due to trying go home. His walking is very bad, in that it is now pretty much non existent, except if we can get him to hold a frame and have at minimum one person holding him up. I mostly just use the wheeled commode to transport him between chair and bed. My dad is in hospital, he has had many visits to A&E over the last couple of years, mostly falls related.
I really believe he needs to be in a care home, and I have told this to social workers, occupational health and anyone who is interested in listening, but am always given this whole line about it not being in my dads interests. We have carers, but they cause him distress anyway, and on days I’m not home I always tend to come home to him having random bruises or cuts and anyway carer visits are just not enough and he needs 24 hour supervision. I have a full time job and currently work from home most days due to the pandemic, I have had to start going into the office a couple days a week due my own mental health and wellbeing and the fact I am just not able to work from home… carers or not, dad doesn’t hold i his messes or falls for there visits I have been refused respite care by social services a few months ago. I never asked to be a carer, but I have been pretty much guilted into it by support services.
The social worker at the hospital talks to my dad without me around, and says it’s because of visiting restrictions, my dad doesn’t give any correct answers and believes he still lives with his wife and children. I have twice told him this is not true. It’s the same social worker we had on a previous visit to the hospital, and he very much mislead me about all the support that was available then, after I said I couldn’t do it anymore. I said to him, out of annoyance and exhaustion yesterday I would not do anymore care until he can guarantee respite care and have it in writing. He refused and said that they NEVER give respite care from the hospital, which I know to not be true. But I knew they won’t do it. I was just annoyed, as it seems social workers will do the very minimum and not what’s in the patient or carers best interest.