Asd adult sleep issues

hi my names dan

i am a carer for my wife who has Aspergers syndrome and OCD recently over the past few months my wife has developed conic insomnia which has caused her deep anxiety about going to bed i am trying to keep her in a set routine but its very hard when her sleeping patterns are so all over the place. i am struggling to shake her thoughts of dying and to quite down her mind as she puts it where her thoughts are racing so much she cant sleep. i am not getting much sleep myself as a result of her sleep issues although i dont blame her i am finding it very hard to give her effective help and am ashamed to admit i am getting quite beside myself now with worry about her. i feel helpless as she is very depressed and talking about ending her life alot. she has a appointment with the mental health team tomorrow but they have let her down so many times (not turning up cancelling or not returning calls to me or to her) that i fear she wont be receptive to them as she does not trust them but im running out of ideas to try and help myself. does anyone have any advise i could try to help her, i feel so helpless as i need to sleep to be able to help her but i feel bad that i can sleep and she cant. please i am desperate as i am very worried that if i have to go out for anything i worry that she might try and take her own life but i have no support around me i am completely alone. its effecting out relationship alot she angry all the time which i dont blame her for that is the lack off sleep. some off the things she says are very hurtful and i am very low myself right now and its breaking my heart to see my wife so dishevelled.

Hi Dan,

I personally suffer with the same issue as your wife in that I get panic attacks when I go to bed, with obtrusive thoughts of dying. It really does make it impossible to sleep.

However, I did read up on panic attacks and found the following quite useful:

Get her to look around and quickly name 5 things she can see, 4 things she can touch, 3 things she can hear, 2 things she can smell and one thing she can taste.

It distracts the mind from the thing that’s causing the panic (it may also fall into place quite well with her OCD, as it’s a routine of things she can do every night, if she needs to).

With regard to her saying she wants to end her life and your worries around this issue, I would book an emergency appointment for her with her GP. Go with her to the appointment so she has your support and listen to what the GP has to say/offer. Might end up being a medication that’s prescribed or it’ll be that she’s moved further up the priority list for the counselling, but the GP needs to know that she’s at risk of self harm.

I’m an Aspie who has trouble sleeping too, but I think in my case it’s more because my other family members (anxious and depressed mother, sister with autism and learning difficulties, and stroke-damaged dad) are stressing me out!

Try a little walk before going to bed, it helps me

I don’t feel I could go for a walk while the evenings are so dark. Especially if slippy out.

This is an old thread an I’m locking it.