Already Stressed


I’m new to caring - my mum came out of hospital 10 days ago, she’s in a hospital bed in the living room and on an oxygen concentrator. The carers come in the morning to wash and dress her and at night to get her into nightwear but I do everything else.

I had just been made redundant due to the pandemic when mum was taken in hospital 3 months ago and so am currently on Universal credit but they are saying i need to continue to look for work as mum does not yet qualify for attendance allowance and therefore i do not qualify for benefits as a carer but I simply cant leave her alone and to be honest I’m totally exhausted anyway. I’m up in the middle of the night as she needs the commode and then in the day it’s meds, feeding, commode requirements as well as washing and changing clothes and bedding. How can they expect me to work as well? Leaving her alone would put her at risk as she has a rare condition which causes hypos without any warning (she doesn’t have diabetes).

So sorry for rambling but I needed to get this off my chest as I’m just so stressed.

Thanks for listening.

I can’t answer your question, but if you ring the Carers UK helpline, I’m sure they will know the answer.

Can I ask a few questions about mum, there might be some things to help you.
Apologies in advance!

Were you involved at all in the discharge plan?
How old is mum? You?
I don’t know what an oximeter is used for, so can you say what she is suffering from?
Does mum own or rent her house? This is a VERY important question to answer.
Do you have Power of Attorney?
Does mum have over £23,000 in savings (Yes/No).
Has anyone mentioned free care for mum, through NHS Continuing Healthcare?
Have Social Services done a Needs Assessment?

Mum is 84 and I’m 61. We are in rented accommodation. Mum has a number of health conditions - the longstanding condition is non-insulinoma Pancreagenous Hypoglycemia which causes low blood sugar which in turn can cause seizures / coma / death if not dealt with immediately. it was after her having seizures and being left unattended she ended up in ICU and on a ventilator and ended up with a 3 month stay in hospital. Whilst there they also diagnosed heart failure and that is what she is on oxygen for. We have no savings and I do not have power of attorney (although I have the forms printed off but waiting for the opportunity to get them witnessed). Intermediate care team are currently coming in twice a day and a social worker telephoned today and advised someone would be in touch soon to complete an assessment.


Mum should never have been sent home to you with all these problems!
I would ring up the CEO of the hospital and complain about an UNSAFE DISCHARGE.
How can you possibly have a life of your own like that??

She needs to have an URGENT Continuing Healthcare Assessment.
Now some very difficult questions. What do you want for your future?
Given mum’s condition, do you feel that she would be better off with 24/7 care in a nursing home, or at home. Both should be possible, funded by CHC.

Hi & welcome

If you are stress speak to your G.P. They may consider how to help with your stress level’s. It’s not all about dishing out tablets. It could just mean you need to rest etc.

What is a fit note for Universal Credit?

The GP’s certificate is called the ‘statement of fitness for work’ or ‘fit note’. On this, your GP can indicate that either you are not fit for work.

I wouldn’t ever want mum to be in a nursing home - I’d much rather take care of her myself but I do need to have the rent paid and that’s the stressful thing. I’m tired and it’s hard work there is no denying but I love her and want her at home as long as is possible. I did ring the hospital about my dissatisfaction about much of the discharge and there answer was to send her back. Not something I was prepared to do given she was exposed to Covid 3 times whilst in their care.

Thank you for your welcome. I do intend to speak to my GP and see what he says.


is your Mum considered end of life/ on palliative care? If so, then she can claim attendance allowance straight away and doesn’t have to wait 6 months

This would then qualify you to be in the not having to look for work group with UC.


If you are providing less than 35 hours per week of care or the person you care for doesn’t receive the right benefits, you should tell your work coach about your caring responsibilities and ask that your claimant commitment is adapted to take them into account. If you do not feel your claimant commitment has taken into account your caring responsibilities, you should get advice.

. What activities will I have to do when claiming Universal Credit? - Turn2us

If you can’t get through to the Carers Uk helpline, then turn2us have this


If you don’t want mum in a nursing home, then the NHS Continuing Healthcare funding would enable her to have proper care in her home instead. When you get a chance, ask Google to find the “NHS Continuing Healthcare Framework” for you, and look at the checklist assessment. Tell the GP that you need this done URGENTLY. If anyone challenges the fact that it can be provided at home, ask Google to search for “Barbara Poynton Continuing Healthcare” case. Then ring Social Services and say that they mUST provide more care immediately from their special discharge team.
Also start a diary, who you speak to, date, time phone number, what was agreed.

Can you tell us a bit more about the problem with the rent?

need to have the rent paid and that’s the stressful thing

There is also help with rent problems it’s just knowing who and where to ask.

Please explain more about your housing situation.
Is it a privately rented property, or council, or housing association?
Are you on the tenancy agreement?
Prior to mum’s illness, how was it paid?
Has an application now been made for Attendance Allowance?