Advice on buying clothes for Care Home Residents

All about caring Former carers
1

Hi

I haven’t been on this forum for a while as things seem to be ticking along nicely, but lately I am in need of some advice and really wondered, ok my question is, how often are you requested to buy and provide new clothes for your mother/father who is currently in a home?

My mother has now been in the home for just over two years now, she has dementia but other then that is in perfect health, its just the brain that gives up eventually, like the body snatchers, which is the sad thing, anyway I digress, I took her clothes from home when she was first admitted, and last year I bought her some slippers, a couple of pairs of trousers and bra vests, as requested, but I was there yesterday and i was asked to purchase and bring her some clothes for best, for when the carers take them out, be it for a pub lunch, go to the park or when they hold events, as her other clothes are worn out :woman_shrugging:.

Don’t get me wrong, i don’t mind as it’s my mother and I would do anything for her, I just am questioning it I suppose due to our ever rising cost in living situation, thank god is all I can say that I work Part time, for which I took a huge wage cut from full time to part time, as I was facing redundancy, another reason i question this, I got a call yesterday from the optician who gave my mother an eye test and phoned me up with a bill of £323, which will be for some better glasses for her as her eyesight deteriorated rapidily, I asked for the invoice for a breakdown of the costs, so what with that and now being asked to get some clothes it is like a double whammy financial wise for me, I am also doing this alone without much financial support, as even though I just work 16 hours my income from my job stops me getting fthis, they deem me as rich :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: I wish.

Thus back to my question, have you guys, and ladies, known this?

Samantha

2

Hi Samantha,

Others will have direct experience of this and should be along to reply. In the meantime:

are you using your Mum’s money to pay for these items? (You should be.)

I think care home laundry services are much harsher on clothes than domestic washing is.

How lovely that the carers take the residents out and about.

3

Hi Samantha
Have you power of attorney for your mother. Her clothing costs should come out of her own money, not yours. The same with foot care and hairdressing.
I used to purchase my late husband’s clothing from his bank account and pay into the expenses funds for haircuts etc. He was a very smart man before dementia set in, but I used to buy from sports direct so I wouldn’t be too upset if ruined in the home. You should be able to access her money. Pension etc. It’s lovely that they take her out and want her to look nice. Charity shops may have some suitable clothing

4

How is mum’s care funded?
Were you given any information when mum moved in about how care was arranged?
The things that you mention should all be paid for by MUM, not you!

6

The care home should provide some sort of prospectus explaining how things like this are managed. In your shoes I would insist that if they arrange things without telling you, then you are not a party to the contract, so legally, they are responsible for the bill! They need to talk to you BEFORE ordering things. Wha5 happened to the clothes mum went in with??

7

Hi @Samantha_1909, anything you get your mother put her name on it, like with children clothes name tags. As the others say it is down to your mum money to pay for things. I would suggest like power attorney and have both parts of it. Also have a word with the person who is in charge of financial services at the home and go through things with them. If they become funny about it say that you want a aduit report on your mum finances but also speak to the bank if there are red flags showing in her money. I would suggest if you need to buy any more clothes then use a charity shop, despite being cheaper, you can find some good ones. I would check also about how the home washes them as normally they are in sperate wash bags but also the machines they use are the same ones at most laundrys. If items are going missing then there could be a sideline in the home that no one knows about. Hope you get it sorted out and if in doubt contact safeguarding.