I am trying to get my mum moved to a more suitable care home. One that can provide better daily social and dementia specific care, in an area she would want to be in and which she has already spoken about favourably before moving where she is now but I face an uphill struggle. With 2 other Power of Attorneys (who have not cared for Mum like I have or just spent time with her doing the things she likes) putting the importance of finances before suitable care I am a lone voice and because it is really getting me down I am beginning to think about giving up a battle I truly believe in and one I know I will regret if I do. To me Mums wishes and care are most important and finances must support this and not the other way round. Anyone got any advice?! Feel quite alone in all this
Hi Caroline … welcome to the canteen.
Assuming monies are no object … your mother self funding … just a question of doing your homework with those on your manor ?
In that respect , the following link to AGE UK’s guidance on care homes will be relevant here :
Care homes | Information and Advice | Age UK
Nursing care seems to be appropriate … CHC / NHS Continuing Healthcare / NHS Nursing Funded Care … any of these offered / considered / applied for but refused ?
Top up fees ?
If that issue EVER raises it’s head … SHOUT !!!
Quite a bit in the above … have a ponder … and then return to us here on this forum with your observations / further questions.
Welcome to the forum.
Are you and the other POA’s all for both finances and for health?
It was my understanding that POA’s have a duty to make decisions in the best interests of the person they represent: are their any professionals who could back you up and agree that your Mother’s needs have changed and therefore her health and care needs would be better met elsewhere?
“Changed,” is a good angle to go from as it can involve further assessments.
An advocate might be appropriate for your mum too. They can support people with varied cognitive functioning.
This sort of dispute has been discussed on Talking Point the Alzheimer’s Society forum, ( which despite it’s name, supports those affected by allforms of dementia.)
Sorry I can’t be of more help, others will be along with further advice.
Are you all listed on the POA as Attorneys ‘severally’ or ‘jointly’ ?
If you are listed as ‘severally’ then any one of you can make decisions without reference to the others; if listed as ‘jointly’ then you have to make any decisions together.
If there’s more than one attorney
If you’re appointing more than one person, you must decide if they’ll make decisions:
separately or together - sometimes called ‘jointly and severally’ - which means attorneys can make decisions on their own or with other attorneys
together - sometimes called ‘jointly’ - which means all the attorneys have to agree on the decision
You can also choose to let them make some decisions ‘jointly’, and others ‘jointly and severally’.
Attorneys who are appointed jointly must all agree or they can’t make the decision.
Are your siblings concerned that if your mum is self-funding, and the money runs out too quickly, she’ll end up in a worse, council-funded care home?
Or are they just after inheriting as much as they can from her once she finally dies!
If the former, that is a ‘fair’ concern, even if an impossible call to make (as in, very hard to tell how long anyone will live - even the staff of care homes can seldom call it accurately, let alone the doctors etc), but if the latter, tell them to go stuff themselves! It’s your mum’s money, it should, as you say, be spent on HER.
If your sibligns have done little to help her, then I suspect they simply don’t want her to ‘waste’ her money but leave it to them to inherit!!! ???