I provide care to a family member who is quite frankly the sunshine that brings life to my earth.
I have no question of my duties, I don’t have problems putting every moment of my day into providing care.
What I am struggling with is I am finding I’ve lost connection with knowing how to take the moments I have with my loved one and make memories they enjoy.
I just want to see them smile, uncontrollably laugh, spark the personality I once knew to be the light of my life.
They have a long list of ailments but the most painful to witness is the Dimentia and it’s affects as I am mourning someone I know is still ‘here’.
How do I get someone who’s beyond the point of return to find happiness and joy in life and days with our family.
They no longer comprehend emotion, wants, needs, likes… oh but by god do they know how to tell you they don’t like something
I really don’t want to lose anymore moments, yes death is inevitably soon in this equation and so I can’t quite seem to shake that I am everyday in “frontline support” mode where I put almost all the needs of care above the social element of making someone I love happy, content, maybe even get them to forget their fading away.
They truly are a fighter and have passed their life expectancy by months now.
If anyone understands or can make sense of ally post I’d much appreciate how I can just make them feel 25 again, because right now I’ve forgotten how to be 25 myself!