Young carers 'doing £12,000 of unpaid work a year'

As a full time carer in my 20s caring for the grandmother who raised me, watching her deteriorate from Alzheimers, partial blindness and limited mobility, crying about how I shouldn’t have to look after her but is too confused to allow outside care to look after her, to those commenting here who very clearly are lucky enough to work, have their own lives, be financially comfortable, not have to see the things I see every day and have the gall to say “it’s what families do, this country is too soft, my tax money”, very kindly do one. If you’d like to swap places, let me know, the 500 quid I get a month just about keeps my head above water financially, but I should just do it for free right? That’s what families do?


You are clearly at the end of your tether today. Where are your parents?
Dementia is a horrible disease, and caring for someone in the later stages needs a TEAM of carers. It’s too much for one person.
Have you contacted Social Services for help?
Spoken to your GP?

People on this forum are very committed to caring, and have or are going through very difficult times. For you to say do one is extremely rude and most unfair. I am sorry and sad about your grandmother, I understand watching a loved one deteriorate with dementia and other issues as my lovely husband suffered.
Support will be offered as Bowlingbun has already done.

You are ranting at the wrong people!! All the folk on here are currently/ have been caring for loved ones family or friends.

Caring isn’t easy and this forum is a place to support each other.

I would like to draw your attention to our Community Guidelines here Our Forum | Carers UK
These ensure the forum is a welcoming and supportive place for carers.

Melly1 Moderator

Hello Kevin and welcome to the forum.

I have to take issue with the tone of your post - especially the assumption that

Very few of those caring on this forum fit that criteria - the majority of those caring here care 24/7 for 365 days a year - many are not in a position to work at all and have to rely on a combination of benefits to get by; many are elderly and have given up their entire lives to caring for a disabled spouse or child. Most can only claim the basic Carers Allowance of £67.60 per week (so a fair bit less than your £500 per month), so yes, perhaps some would be willing to change places with you.

In all my years (14 !) contributing to this forum, firstly as a member and now as a moderator, I have never seen anyone say

Yes, it is very hard caring for someone with dementia - I did it for a number of years and wouldn’t wish the situation on anyone - but telling the members of this forum

is not the way to go about getting support or advice.

No, nobody can be forced to care for another person - be they family or friend but, of course it is what we do do until the time comes when we know that we can’t do it any longer and have to consider other options like care assistants coming into the home to help or, as a last resort, consider a residential/nursing care home (As Bowlingbun has said the time comes when one person just cannot do it all and a team is needed).

I would kindly suggest that you read our Community Guideline
here Our Forum | Carers UK