Would my husband be entitled to carers allowance? He thinks he isn't - What's in 35 hrs?

Benefits, finances and funding
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Hey all, my first post. Thanks for having me.

It’s the same old question (I have already scoured the forum) but the definition of care by the government seems clear as mud and my husband feels guilty applying for carers allowance because he doesn’t think he is doing enough.

To explain, we moved back to his home county during the pandemic because his dad was diagnosed with cancer. He has since passed but as his mum was also getting older and more frail we realised we had to be closer. In addition she has a daughter and grandson who have caused quite a bit of trouble in the past - her grandson specifically took a lot of advantage, to the point of financial abuse (which took quite a bit of convincing, too). He lived with her for a while and we were glad when he left.

We actually moved in with her in August - partially to save for our own place and renting in her town was just too expensive and we knew we had to be even closer. But also to some extent we feel that she needs some protection from her grandson. As soon as we moved in we already had to deal with a situation relating to her grandson which she couldn’t have handled by herself and which took a lot of time and stress to resolve over a couple of weeks. I think she thinks she is doing us a favour but I don’t know if we’ll ever be able to move out as I noticed that her memory is getting worse and she has had a couple of falls tripping over stuff and it takes her some time to get up.

She is still quite independent (she thinks so especially, there isn’t much convincing otherwise) but she also needs a bit of help. She is struggling a lot with arthritis in her legs, hands and shoulders. She is also only 4ft11 so we’ll help her get stuff high up, help with DIY, take her to her church meetings if she feels like she can, to doctors appointments but she doesn’t have too many, and take her to the shops. However, she makes her own breakfast and lunch and because we eat late she often just makes herself a microwave meal. She also orders online from Asda. But we help her with IT and iPhone issues and often help her with official stuff she doesn’t understand (like her dear grandson signing his dead granddad up as a guarantor for a rental and never paying a penny in rent…we are still dealing with this :thinking:…long story).

My husband works self-employed but after paying NI contributions and expenses he earns about £140 on average (some months he earns more, especially during the summer but this is the average we calculated). I work from home and help her too. We have no structure but we are always available. She claims attendance allowance. She has a chairlift and a pendant. She goes out sometimes with her friends who help her with mobility issues during that time.
My husband has his own health issues so can’t work loads more in the job he does which is very physical. But he can do some light care work.

He says he does nowhere near 35 hrs of caring. She watches a lot of TV which she could do by herself but I think (hope) she enjoys the company. I say that since we live with her and are always on hand while he is at home, and caring isn’t just about being with the person every second of those 35 hrs, he is caring. Even I help but I earn too much so couldn’t even apply for it.

So I see his point, on the other hand it’s such a small amount of benefit anyway for 35 hrs of work and I feel that the definition has been deliberately left fuzzy so people don’t feel they are entitled to it. On some sites I read the care has to be substantial on others I read that it also covers things like being there for emotional support and on call (I mean, is he allowed to leave the house during those hours??). Of course there is no heavy care need like a person who is bed bound. But I can also see things getting more difficult in the long run.

By the way it was his mum who brought up the idea to apply for it as she got a letter from the council or DWP mentioning it due to her receiving attendance allowance.

I’d really appreciate your input!

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Hi @judywoody and welcome!

The rules about Carers Allowance are confusing because the rules talk about a number of hours of caring, and words like “substantial” get thrown into the mix. But the rules don’t clarify any of it. There’s a good reason for that - caring is a very broad topic!

There is no 35 hour “test.” The fact that your Mum in law receives Attendance Allowance means that there is an assumption that she requires care to that level. If your husband makes a claim for Carers Allowance, he’s committing to providing that. That’s it. And that’s ok because it works out at about 5 hours a day, and most people do more than that without realising because the list of things that count is really broad.

That includes dealing with landlords trying to recover rent (helping with finances and other fallout from grandson), form filling and letter writing, shopping (I know she orders online, but that doesn’t mean you don’t pick up odd things she’s forgotten or that were not in stock), taking her to church, the doctors, sorting out IT, and before long it’s likely there’ll be more hands on stuff as she becomes more frail. It’s also being on standby - helping to prevent falls, being there to provide emotional support, company, and being “on call”.

Because much of what I’ve listed takes more time than most people think, the chances are quite high that he more than qualifies - but there’s no test, there are no questions that ask you to explain what you do, because the possibilities are so varied it would be impossible to list them.

Do encourage him to claim.

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From what you describe you are both spending huge amounts of time looking after mum! Please apply asap.

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Thank you so much for your input!

I think there is a level of pride involved first of all. He thinks carers allowance is very low and he could spend the time doing “real work” (as in paid for, not morally better) and earn more. Just that he is not well enough to even work more - it’s very unrealistic - his MH and his colitis already make his current job difficult (of course he is not disabled enough for the DWP…). I also feel this shouldn’t just be his decision, although I earn more and work almost full-time I wish I could reduce my hours a little because my health isn’t always great and we are trying to use the opportunity to save up, too. Even though I earn more I also have the higher tax burden because the money isn’t spread out although we are getting marriage allowance of about £250 a year.

He feels very inadequate. Also if he worked more, that would take away from the support we are giving my MIL. I think in his head he thinks he should do more work PLUS caring for his mum. She also pays him for some jobs like gardening work (he is a gardener and car valeter) and he thinks it wouldn’t be right for his mother to continue paying him for this kind of work if he also gets carers allowance (what she pays him is also taken into consideration in his average earnings)

He also takes issue with the 35 hr rule.

I completely agree with your observation that most people underestimate the time they actually spend with the person. But his argument is, if it doesn’t matter why do they make such a big deal about not being able to spread the work out (eg if you work 50 hrs one week and 25 the other you won’t get money for the week you only worked 25). This is obviously ludicrous rule and if you live with the person you care for you likely spend more time anyway - unlike if you have to turn up at someone’s house each day. Also the fact that nobody is asking you to provide a breakdown of the work you’ve been doing on a weekly basis is very telling. But these rules are really not helpful for people who have a tendency of black and white thinking.

I am also wondering about the rule that only one person can apply even if two people care for the same person - to me that almost indicates that the caring I do for my MIL could be added to his hours rather than being worthless.

I hope I make sense?

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You do indeed. And so does your husband when he thinks the amount paid on Carers Allowance is very low for what is expected. But it is what it is, and we can only play the hand we’re dealt.

I can’t advise on some of this, but this is something I used to use at work, years ago.
Carers Pre Assessment Checklist.pdf (361.8 KB)
(I hope this works)
It’s a list of tasks and things to think about as a carer. Some of it is about things you both might do for your MiL. Think about the timings later - they’re less important overall to begin with. The important thing is to look at everything you do. A few things to think about: who does her hair? Who arranges the appointment? The transport? The cancellations when she’s ill?

Apply that sort of thinking to everything. It’s hard work but it’s important because you don’t want to miss anything.

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Thank you, the list is very useful. Although it contains a lot of things she still manages quite well.

I don’t think it’s the amount he is looking down on (although it’s a paltry amount especially for people who do a lot of hands on caring and can’t work as a result), he just thinks he doesn’t care enough to amount to 35 hrs a week and if he did he’d probably be more stressed out because he compares it to 35 hrs of gardening.

I’ll have a chat with him and as you observed well it may become more difficult in the coming years.

I told him to speak to an adviser - I wonder if you could suggest the best organisation to speak to besides carers UK?

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Judy,

I totally understand that. I recently went for a Carers Assement at my local Carers centre and as much as I tried, I kept forgetting things to add, had days to think about it and 2 and a half hours during the talk with the carers adviser. My own advice to myself if I could go back in time and tell myself is “Write out a long list of things that I do while caring for my mum”. You’d be surprised how late in the processs that you keep thinking of other things that I do (have to look after my mum’s dog), only though of that in the last 30 minutes of the assement.

Hope everything goes well with your husband claiming.