Work and pay.

Hi i am new to the forum and am a unpaid carer for my wife, i am working 40 hours a week but am unable to do overtime as i need to be home on time to help my wife, the company is aware of my situation. I am hoping i can get some advice on work and pay, my employer is introducing a bonus scheme and making a condition that you have to be on call one week in 5, from 4, 30 to 8 on week days and 8 to 12 on weekends. I can not possibly manage my wife’s caring needs and be on call out of hours, i think its unfair for the company to interduce a scheme that they know i can’t do and will exclude me, is there anything i can do any advice would be welcome.

I’m not sure from what you’ve written if the bonus scheme is a voluntary idea that you’d like to be a part of, or the only way that they will continue to employ you.

Whichever it is, you need to look into being “Disabled by Association”, in simple terms, your employer has to take your wife’s disability into account in their dealings with you.

You have a right to reasonable adjustments as you are “disabled by association”. Talk to ACAS. Find out more about Constructive Dismissal.

Hello, William. Also talk to your local union representative. If you are not a member of a trades union, consider joining. They can be very helpful with matters like this.

However, a different aspect of your situation is your wife’s apparent total dependence on you.
Can I ask what is wrong with her?
When did she last have a Needs Assessment from Social Services, and you, a Carers Assessment?
Sharing the caring is always a good idea, then if anything happens to you, there is someone else who is able to step in to help, who knows her.

Hi William

I wanted to wish you a warm welcome to the forum and to highlight some of the options for connecting with fellow carers and for getting support from Carers UK.

Carers UK are running online weekly meet ups for carers to take some time for themselves and chat to other carers. Feel free to join if you’d like to and there’s no pressure to share anything you don’t want to.

You can find information on how to register to our online meetups at the following pages:

Care for a Cuppa: Online meetups | Carers UK - the next online meet up is Monday 1 June (running 11-12pm). This social is a great way to have a little break if you are able to and spend some quality time talking to people who understand what you are going through right now.

Share and Learn: Share and Learn | Carers UK - these sessions range from creative writing activities to beginners Latin dance sessions.

There is also Carers UK’s helpline should you need advice or support - Our Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (

Carers UK also provide information and guidance to unpaid carers. This covers a range of subjects including:

Benefits and financial support
Your rights as a carer in the workplace
Carers’ assessments and how to get support in your caring role
Services available to carers and the people you care for
How to complain effectively and challenge decisions.

Thanks for the advice, i am in a union and will contact them for advice.

Hi she has Psoriatic Arthritis.

Have you asked Social Services for a Needs Assessment?
Is your house “disabled friendly”?
I have arthritis now, it’s very frustrating and quickly limiting my activities. My pretty garden borders have gone, but I have a patio with flowers in pots and hanging baskets instead. I have a dishwasher and tumble dryer to help me, and am gradually getting rid of everything I don’t need any more to make the house easier to manage.