Why do I feel so overwhelmed with it all?

I’m a 75 year old wife who has medical issues of her own and who cares for my 71 year old husband who has both long term and degenerative/life threatening issues. Recently I have found out that despite trying my best in applying for his benefits it wasn’t good enough. Additionally he is in the category of being high risk and vulnerable as per the NHS and as such neither of us have been able to leave our home for the past 6 weeks. I try weekly to see if I can get a slot with the supermarkets with very little luck.
I have to have a local charitable hub do our shopping weekly for us, deliver the repeat prescriptions and collect the medication. No one is allowed to visit us not are we able to see anyone.
I honestly don’t mind doing what I do but just sometimes I would like to hear once and a while someone to say thanks.
And to top all of this the government doesn’t even acknowledge anything. I do not get any financial support for the care I provide simply because I receive the State Pension.

I know things will get easier at some point in the future but right now what annoys me most is seeing these idiots walking around and complaining about the pubs being shut and the police hounding them for not complying with the restrictions that we are all under.

There, I have got it off my chest. .

Does your husband receive either DLA or Attendance Allowance?
When did you both last have assessments from Social Services?
Does your husband receive any Direct Payments from them?

Does your husband receive either DLA or Attendance Allowance?
When did you both last have assessments from Social Services?
Does your husband receive any Direct Payments from them?

Neither, he is currently receiving PIP (enhanced care & mobility).
However and this is another story, his award finishes in June 2020 and I was expecting him due to being over 65 to get an automatic new award of 10 years (as per the DWP statement re. pensioners). Unfortunately because I am not that good with government forms etc.,though I try my best, he is to be reassessed by the DWP shortly - I apparently failed to make the case in 2017 (his last reassessment) that his issues are long standing, degenerative in nature and life threatening, Whether he will be re-awarded PIP who knows.

Never, the answer to that is. The only time that the hospital told us that we had to get social services in for him on his discharge no one ever turned up - I had to carry that burden myself instead. He couldn’t walk or even get up to go to the toilet as he had lost that much strength and body mass. He lived on Ensure for months having been in hospital for nearly 3 months and the only ‘food’ he had there was via a tube in his neck. He had eaten nothing for those 3 months.

Direct Payments? No idea what they are. Does he get money for his disabilities? Yes he currently gets PIP and a 40% lifetime award of Industrial Injuries Benefit - although that has nothing to do with his current problems. That award was from the mid 90’s after he was attacked and shot in trying to stop an armed robbery taking place.

I think you household could do with a benefits assessment. And a needs assessment by your local Social Services. Is your husband receiving his state pension.



I feel you maybe missing out of things.


The DWP have become nothing short of brutal in these situations: it’s highly likely that after a new assessment the PIP will be reduced.

You must challenge any such decision asap, and also challenge any further decisions which are not favourable. Something like 70% of such DWP decisions are overturned.

They are desperate to save money, and those who don’t fight decisions are the ones who provide that financial relief for them.


Hi Susan

Here is a response I received from our Advice line on this:

These are very exceptional and extremely difficult times. I am sorry to hear of your husband’s condition and the challenges that you face caring for him. I assume that the benefit that you are referring to is Carer’s Allowance.
Carer’s Allowance is an income replacement benefit. It is an ‘overlapping’ benefit with the State Pension which is also an income replacement benefit paid from public funds. This means that if you make an application for Carer’s Allowance, only the greater of the two will be paid. This tends to be the State Pension. If the weekly value of your State Pension was less than that of Carer’s Allowance (i.e. currently £67.25 / week), then a top up would be paid up to this amount.
However, with a claim for Carer’s Allowance for someone State Pension Age, you will retain an underlying entitlement to Carer’s Allowance. What does this mean? This means that a Carer Addition (£37.50 / week) will be applicable in the calculation of your and your husband’s potential entitlement to other means-tested benefits: e.g. Pension Credits, Housing Benefit (if applicable) and /or Council Tax Reduction. To be able to advise on whether an ‘underlying entitlement’ to Carer’s Allowance may have a positive financial impact in your circumstances, we would have to do a full benefits check for which additional information is required, on wider circumstances, your and your husband’s income and savings, your housing circumstances (e.g. paying rent or own your home) etc. This means that we would have to ask a set of questions to gather the information required. We are happy to do a full benefits check for you. To preserve confidentiality and your privacy, if you would like a full benefits check you may wish to contact us by email so we can respond directly to you so we can answer any additional query that you may have related to the support that you need. You may also wish to consult our guidance on Covid-19 by following this link: COVID-19 guidance | Carers UK
Coronavirus (COVID-19) - Carers UK
The coronavirus (Covid-19) outbreak is particularly worrying for carers. Our regularly updated information can help ease concerns and enable you to plan alternative care arrangements for your loved ones.
with latest advice for unpaid carers and information about support that is available to you. I hope this is helpful as a starting point. Do not hesitate to come back to us for a full benefits check or if you have any additional question. Kind regards

Jane, I did not know until this morning the amount of the Carer Premium allowed to carers in receipt of some benefits.

The £37.50 recognises rightly that there are lots of hidden costs of caring. This has already been ascertained by recent surveys.

I am also a pensioner carer, but I only receive the basic state pension.

Why is there no recognition of MY caring role?

At times I care for my adult brain damaged son for 168 hours a week, yet I get NOTHING.

He wants to work with the families steam engines, something he’s done since he could walk. The council say they won’t pay me direct payments for this, but will pay care staff to support him, but there are no staff available with the specialist knowledge required, yet there are no staff available with the skills required.

The solution is simple.

Ask the government to change the status of Carers Allowance so that they don’t come up against the “overlapping rule”.