Hello, I’m a carer for my wife, we are both 58yrs old and everything was going great until July this year when at work my wife suffered a brain haemorrhage. We had always jokingly commented to each other how we would cope in the event of the death of one of us and I’ve always concluded I would be totally useless without my wife being with me, That day I will never forget.
I’m extremely lucky that she survived even though it was a grade 4 haemorrhage I cant get the look of doom on the doctors face when he advised on her condition, I genuinely feared the worse for both of us.

Now 4 months later Ann is on the mend, not unscathed of course as she has short term memory loss, struggles to walk unaided and I cant allow her to cook or carry food even though we’ve tried, it upsets her when we she drops food due to weakness and being blind in one eye she’s lost depth in her vision. Of course she has other symptoms of the brain injury like constant pain etc, but we feel in that area we are coping.

Isn’t the benefit system a complete farce. I never claimed before and find it a minefield. as of yet we have had no support from anyone even though I keep getting suggestions from healthcare professional’s, It would seem we are entitled to nothing so far, not even carers allowance.

As our funds are running out I’m getting increasingly worried though I try not to let Ann see this. Why on earth I’m I not getting any support from government? it even took 12 weeks for a walker for my wife but by then I had bought a second hand one as she was in need.

It now transpires that there is a time limit to claim carers allowance. and I’ve been informed that PIP are way behind on their assessment’s, so it look bleak from any angle.

“Not even Carers Allowance”?!
Your wife is entitled to highest PIP, and if you are not working, you are entitled to Carers Allowance.
Your wife should have a Needs Assessment from Social Services, and you, a Carers Assessment, to see what you both need as far as support is concerned.
All this should have happened before she left hospital!
Did she have her 6 weeks free reablement Care?

Hello James

I wanted to extend a warm welcome to our forum, you’ve certainly come to the right place for support and advice. It might be helpful for you to contact our helpline, if you haven’t already done so, the contact details are as follows:
Our Telephone Helpline is available on 0808 808 7777 from Monday to Friday, 9am – 6pm or you can contact us by email (advice@carersuk.org), the helpline is there should you need advice or support.
We are also running a series of online Care for a Cuppa sessions for our carers right across the UK, it’s a chance for carers to come together and support each other, many of our carers have said how helpful they found it to talk to other people who understand what they are going through and there’s no pressure to share anything you’re not comfortable with but it’s a great way to meet others and take a little bit of time out for yourself James. Here’s the joining details: Online meetups | Carers UK they run on Monday afternoons for about an hour. We also have our Share and Learn session which are a series of fun based sessions to date we’ve had talks from various people on various topics, yoga sessions, learn to dance. It’s worth having a look at our site and see if one takes your fancy Share and Learn | Carers UK
We would love to see you there James.
With all good wishes

Hello, it’s just the lack of help that’s bothering me ATM. I rang the PIP helpline and as I’m claiming for my wife I thought I had the relevant information in front of me. I distinctly heard the advisor humming impatiently because I didn’t have Ann NI number to hand HOW RUDE, especially as I waited 35 minutes for an advisor to answer. As for Social Services NOTHING. To busy apparently and the wait time is beyond 12 weeks which is astounding.

I lay awake at night worrying about our circumstances and how we are going to cope to the point of night sweats. But you just keep going for the sake of your loved one… Don’t get me wrong, I think the NHS did a fantastic job and I know there are people out there in a much worse situation than me but as a man it’s REALLY hard to ask for advise and to articulate our predicament.

12 weeks for a Needs Assessment?!
Not good enough. Go to the LA website, and search for “Adult Services Complaints”.
A complaint here will go to Head Office, not the useless local team!
Did the hospital assess her needs and arrange a discharge plan, including 6 weeks free care?
Did anyone talk to you, as the future carer, about what care she would need?

Hi James

Welcome to the Forum, I hope you are finding it interesting so far.

Just wanted to highlight that we are currently running Forum Focus, an opportunity for Forum users to hear more about Carers UK’s work.

Find all the posts here: https://www.carersuk.org/forum/48



James, have DWP now sorted things out?
Anything from Social Services?