Where to start

Hi, new here and maybe posting in wrong place. Just looking for some advice. I care for a 90yo friend with mild asthma and little else wrong…we live very rurally and she is still living on her own. Today for the first time she mentioned being better off in a home. However, given she has no money as such and is healthy, that will not be an option. However I am wondering although I claim carers allowance would she be entitled to other help for personal care even occasionally? She can go days only seeing me :grinning: and our conversation can be limited now after a lot of years! She has refused to go out at all anywhere but I may get her to a day club.
Will ask the practice nurse and see if she has ideas but thought I would ask here too.
Thank you
Living in Northern Scotland

Supported accommodation isn’t just for physical disabilities it’s also for emotional support. I would suggest talking directly to Social Services and/or your local Age UK. What type of personal care do you provide? If you are receiving carers allowance does that mean your friend is in receipt of DLA or PIP. Which means she would qualify for help to move to alternative accommodation. It sounds more like supported accommodation than a care home situation.

Hi, my friend still manages her own personal care but is beginning to need extra help. She gets attendance allowance and I am just in the throws of claiming carer’s. I do all her housework, cooking, shopping, washing, attend to paperwork and money matters. I have POA along with her son.
I will get in touch with social services tomorrow and see what they can do.
She is fairly fit with only needing some help with inhaler (I give her her steroid tablets too) and comes across very ‘with it’ when the nurse visits so they are inclined to not do much!
However, I will take the bull by the horns tomorrow and speak to social services, then see if I can get her to agree to leave the house and go to the day care centre just for even a look see.
Thank you, I should have thought along the lines of emotional as opposed to physical support

Hi Ann.

In case it’s needed … a guide to home care services … what’s available , and who provides them :


Welcome to the forums! Supported accommodation is not only for those with a visible or physical impairment. I would at least try to encourage her to find out more.

Hi Ann, it sounds as though you have already been a carer for many years. Sometimes it creeps up so slowly you just don’t know until all of a sudden you realise how much you are doing for someone else and how little you are doing for yourself!
Does your friend own her house and seem comfortably off, or is she receiving income related benefits? I’m not suggesting you ask right now, just your impression.
Maybe the first step would be for you friend to do a trial week somewhere, to help her make her mind up?

Good luck! Start with a day like BB says and see what happens.