What cognitive biases do you have or face, that you are aware of or even unaware of, as a carer, former carer or as someone dealing with the practical matters before or after an end of life?
If I may add cognitive biases experiences of my own:
I was already living in my parents house before I lost them, I was a carer for both. Since inheriting the house it’s been a mighty personal challenge dealing with the contents, about 20% of if it is either of sentimental value or useful, so that’s okay, but it’s the 80% I do not need is where I face my challenges and cognitive biases, likely made worse by my mild autism.
Although I have already given a lot to local charity shops I am left with feelings of :
I also tried a trial sell on an auction site, but it left me realising that in the many weeks or months it would take to sell all the items one could earn more money from less than two weeks employment.
Overall, if I were to donate it all to whatever charities it would free me up to get on with my life, studies, career and whatever, but I am finding it very hard to bring myself to do that.
So I asked one of the large language models available to us now, to help me identify what cognitive biases I may be facing and experiencing, given the above text. It suggested quite a few:
Endowment effect: You’re placing a higher value on items simply because they belonged to your parents, even if they’re not objectively valuable or useful to you.
Loss aversion: The fear of losing something valuable by giving away your parents’ possessions is stronger than the potential gain of freeing up space and time.
Sunk cost fallacy: You’re considering the time and effort your parents invested in acquiring and maintaining these items, making it harder to let go.
Emotional attachment bias: Your sentimental connection to the items is overriding rational decision-making about their practical value or necessity.
Status quo bias: The tendency to prefer things to stay the same is making it difficult for you to make changes to your living situation.
Anchoring bias: Your initial perception of the items’ value (based on your parents’ respect for them) is influencing your current assessment of their worth.
Opportunity cost neglect: You’re focusing on the perceived loss of giving items away rather than considering the benefits of freeing up your time and space.
Analysis paralysis: The overwhelming nature of the task and the multiple options available (sell, donate, keep) may be causing decision fatigue.
Phew, I may be riddled with bias!
I had to help empty my in laws house, my brother’s house and my parents’ hoarders house, then my husband died. One day I looked round MY house and realised that I had chosen very little of it for myself, and needed very little of it for my future! A book called The Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Magnusson really helped me. It’s not very long and quite amusing. When newly married we lived in outback Australia for 3 years and managed on the bare minimum but had everything we NEEDED. Think about what you need and what you want. If you don’t let go of the past it will destroy your future, so I sent a lot of furniture to the sale room. That gave me more space and less to clean! I am still “work in progress”, but am determined not to leave my children with the mountain of stuff my parents left for me to sort out. Buy the book and decide your own priorities. Write them down. Have a box in the house for donations and empty it regularly. Good luck!
Hello,
My parents in law died very recently. My husband is not able to manage the clearance. With my husband’s permission, I removed any obviously valuable or intensely sentimental items and I am currently organising a clearance company to dispose of everything else.
In my case, I just have not got the time, the energy, the transport or the storage space to do anything else. I know there will be things that my parents in law cared deeply about, which will be disposed of, but they loved them in their lifetime and sometimes, that is enough.
When did they die?
Did they own or rent the property?
I’m worried you are doing things that you may regret later.
I have had to empty three houses after relatives died.
By sharing my experience I was hoping it would inspire others to share their current or previous cognitive bias experiences, so it is good to hear others’ stories, thanks for your replies.
I have yet to identify what cognitive biases I may have had before my parents end-of-life, no doubt I had some but I was unaware of them. So it would be interesting to hear from those who are still in a carers role, or similar, of what cognitive biases you are facing.
Many of our parents grew up during the Second World War and the rationing that followed. I’m sure this left a huge legacy. Mum would talk about making us independent as soon as possible in case something happened to the. Anything precious was wrapped up and “put away safely” and duplicates of things were purchased in case something wore out!
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