Upcoming Review

My daughter’s review is coming up shortly and I am very confused about how to have my say.

When she lived at home she went to a Group once a week, she went on respite breaks a couple of times a year and she had a PA for up to 10 hours a week. She also went to reading lessons once a week but most of these stopped due to covid. All of these were funded by her Personal Budget.

She now lives with her boyfriend in their flat but progress is slow and we have had lots of problems as she can’t really cope alone when he is at work.

She has 8 hours a week Support from an organisation. Her reading lessons have ground to a halt as her tutor is clinically vulnerable but she does want to go back when the tutor feels ready.

She doesn’t want to go to the group again as it’s now too far away.
We were told she is now no longer eligible for respite breaks as she doesn’t live at home.

The LA keep clawing back huge amounts of money from her PB and I still don’t really understand this. I asked if she could use some of it for new carpets, decorating, curtains etc but was told no.

I am so confused and I just don’t know what to say at the Review because she obviously still needs a lot of support but I don’t know what to suggest.

Thanks in advance.

I would write down all the problems she is experience, and tell SSD that THEY need to find a solution, not do nothing and keep reclaiming the money.
As your daughter no longer lives with you, then some of the PB should be given to you for doing what no one else is.

Thanks Bowlingbun! Her main problem is not knowing what to do when she is alone. I have bought her adult colouring books, felt tips, crayons etc but she hasn’t used them yet. I also take her out once a week and they come over for lunch every Sunday and pretty much spend the whole day here.
She just can’t seem to settle.

I don’t think there’s a cat in hell’s chance of getting what you say in your second sentence! :smiley:

Nothing ventured nothing gained. If there is no suitable day service for your daughter, then she needs more stimulation during the day, every day. Maybe 2 hours around lunchtime to make lunch and prepare the evening meal. How about cooking classes? i

I so understand your dilemma, M’s SW has sent me what I call an “idiot email” today. I felt like writing back don’t be so bl**y stupid!

She gets a Support worker four days a week from 1-3 pm and they do some prepping veg and making meal for the evening. One of them was hopeless and helped her make Toad in the Hole at 1 pm when they don’t eat until 6pm so it was like leather. She did admit she wasn’t much of a cook! Another time we had a burst of hot weather and I imagined she might help her to make a lovely salad with new potatoes, boiled eggs, ham etc but she made a stew! :laughing:

Her latest Support Worker was much better and they did make some nice meals but sadly she left today.

So many of M’s staff seem to have a very limited knowledge of food preparation. One said she could cook, later defined as taking food out of a freezer and putting it in an oven! Vegetables are regarded as punishment food! M grew up on home grown organic veg he and his dad had grown.

date is getting closer and I am no clearer really.

I don’t know how much attention they will pay to what I say. social services seem to think she is now independent and they send her emails and letters which she can’t understand and they insist on doing this and say she has to learn to then bring them to me to explain!

I find it hard to step back after all these years and I don’t think they understand just how much I have to do for her (and her boyfriend) even though she is no longer under my roof.

I sort all her finances, do her Universal Credit, order her contraceptive pill, make appointments, provide a listening ear etc.

I get no feedback at all from the agency who send the Support Workers in and only know what they do with her when she feels like telling me.

You should not be expected to discuss this in front of your daughter. Ask for your Carers Assessment IN ADVANCE of the review so you can tell them how it really is.
Someone else should be helping her with ALL her money management. SSD should have done this before she moved in.
Did they do a Mental Capacity Assessment to assess whether she could live away from home, and what was needed. (I’ve only just found out M should have had one!)
Make it clear that they should NOT be sending things to you to be managed!!!

Just had another thought.
The LA should have a “Client Affairs Team” to manage clients money.
I know it’s a big step, but this may be the only way that SSD keep dumping money related jobs on you.
Does your daughter have a “key worker”?

If she needs support 4 days a week, why doesn’t she need support every day?
Her disability is the same, her need is the same, whatever the day of the week it is. (My argument with HCC!)
Are there clear guidelines about what the staff should be doing?
Planning 5 portions of fruit a day, an hour’s exercise a day, in accordance with DoH guidelines?
Proper menu plan?