Toe In Water, then the Long Swim

How & where to start. Not sure, but here goes.
About myself: I am Allan (Andy) and I’ve been with ‘herself’ Jen for 55yrs now; the obligatory 2yr engagement having been endured; with immense patience on both sides! We live in North Somerset; a lovely small town called Clevedon. Jen’s the local girl; I’m an immigrant!
I’m now caring for Jen and have been, in many ways for years. Underactive thyroid ever since our daughter was born has caused problems for 49yrs, but she’s suffered a series of nasty chest infections in the past decade after being initially diagnosed as Asthmatic. Her illness developed further with scarred lungs being a persistent problem (Bronchiectasis) but has now progressed to Pulmonary Fibrosis. Consequential shortage of oxygen in the blood has caused a few complications, not least a worsening short-term memory loss. Long-term recall is excellent though! Oxygen support therapy is now on 24/7, another source of problems since she’s always been an oral breather so has to wear a facemask, except for mealtimes… Now she’s virtually bed-bound all day! It’s become an endurance test to beat all trials of the past!
We do have a son & daughter but they both live a considerable distance from us, and have their own family priorities. Luckily they do keep in touch. Enough for now.

Post edited by moderator to remove posters surname

Hi Allan,

welcome to the forum.

Good to welcome you on board.

Do you manage to get any ‘me’ time?


Hi Allan

Sometimes life can get a lot harder as you get older: I care for my wife and can relate to what you’re saying. Caring is hard work, but it beats the alternative: I’d much rather have my wife with me than not care any more.

Hello Allan
Welcome to the forum.
Maybe it’s just as well we don’t know what life is going to throw at us? Happiness we have would be so clouded.
My lovely husband who had a thirst for life and learning had strokes vascular dementia and other health issues and was in a nursing home. Eventually died in hospital. It’s heartbreaking to see a loved one deteriorate . Personally I found I needed me time to keep strength up to care,oversee his care. We find a way to cope because we love someone.
Keep posting and vent if you need to. We don’t judge or mind

Hi Allan, welcome to the forum.
Can I suggest that you don’t use your real name or specific location?
I’m now only a part time carer, all four parents, husband and sister in law now passed away.
My youngest son was brain damaged at birth, he lives one side of the New Forest, I live the other side.

I’m concerned that you seem to be managing all on your own?