Think mum has adhd

Hi, so I know I have posted a lot on here, but I am just so fed up. Someone has suggested to me that my mum may have ADHD on top of everything else.

I think it may be the case, she does not seems to listen when you speak to her, she changes subject mid conversation and it usually is about her. She’s got poor time management and doesn’t manage her appointments, she struggles to remember things, she can’t focus, she can’t organise things.

I’m just getting fed up of it all. As per my previous posts she’s going on the list for assisted living accommodation. Yet it could take years. I feel so defeated, I can’t wait that long with her.

That is a diagnosis best done by the experts and requires a referral from the GP.
There could be many things it could be, ADHD, autism spectrum, bi polar and any other number of conditions that such behaviours are attributable to, for all you know it could be some form of dementia - I have no right to be saying as I am not trained in any. Also the grief for her husband with the subsequent behaviours need to be taken into account.

Raise the issue with the GP and let them do the initial analysis and resultant referrals.
If there is or are any conditions then it might help your mum for assisted living but it is down to the doctor to assess and then refer your mum and that will take time on waiting lists and may need some chaperoning from you to give input about her behaviours. Try starting with a letter to your mothers named doctor about your concern over your mums behaviours. You could also do the same letter to the social workers.

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Thanks. I mean it could be anything, but I know her inability to focus is most likely something. She also doesn’t have any hobbies because she won’t focus

We are all a mix of all sorts of things, looking back dad probably had Aspergers, but was a brilliant scientist. Labels really aren’t very important. Recognising someone’s need as a result of their behaviour is.

I think you have to be careful using labels to diagnose behaviours that can be the result of many different causes. Ultimately it doesn’t help you in looking after her because it doesn’t change anything. The danger is that you put everything she does down to ADHD and miss other potentially more important things. UTIs, for example, can make older people very disorientated, moody, angry (even violent) and hallucinate. Dementia/Alzheimers can also completely change a person’s personality and levels of competence/concentration etc.

I understand. It’s a minefield. I feel like in order to get her help social services want to tick a box whilst diagnoses aren’t so common

If that is the case, then have a look at the goals specified in the 2014 Care Act Guidance.