Supporting someone that is suisidal

I am currently supporting a family member that has anxiety and depression. They also self harm. In the last couple of days they had to go for a work accessment and were asked about their suicide attempts and self harm this has brought on a lot of suicidal thoughts and they have also been to the doctors and got medication.
They are now disengaging from my support, refusing medication even though its only the second day of taking it and have made it clear they don’t want help they just want to be dead. They have a past of refusing hospital admission from a past overdose and self harm so if an attempt was made they would refuse treatment. I’m just not sure what I can do and I also don’t have great mental health myself bad have suffered depression on and off for years. This person lives with me so distancing myself isn’t an option. Many thanks.

Hi Paige … welcome to an extremely quiet forum as I type.

Mental health problems ?

MIND … the UK’s leading experts in this field :

Have you sort advice from them ?

On the caring side , what help are you receiving locally ?

Others will be along to extend their welcomes and add their insights.

Hi yes anxiety and depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts. They currently won’t engage in any help, I have taken them to a recent gp appointment and the doctor prescribed medication which they took yesterday but not today saying they just want to die and medication won’t help. I’m not currently reviving any help personally in a caring role. I was just hoping someone has been in the same situation as it is very difficult to watch someone you love refuse all help. I havent contacted mind do they have help for someone supporting as well?

I haven’t contacted mind do they have help for someone supporting as well?

Yes … one of the very few supporting organisations that recognize the partnership relationship between a carer and their caree.

Many thanks I will make contact with them. I also care for my autistic son, have two other children. Hubby also has autism and has currently had his medication hired for depression.

Your welcome.

Autism ?

National Autism Society … again , the experts in this field.

Even an online community to explore.

National Autistic Society - our Community


You have a lot to juggle with. I’d suggest asking Social Services for an updated Carers Assessment.
If they say they can’t do it unless your daughter first has a Needs Assessment, that’s not true!

I will give that a go but she doesn’t engage with any outside services and has stopped engaging with me now. When she turned 18 she stopped going to camhs and they just said if you need us you know where we are and discharged her.

YOU can have a Carers Assessment though. Make sure it’s done away from home so you can speak freely. YOU need support. Ask for them to fund some counselling .

This sounds quite similar to my situation with my daughter - for years she barely engages with mental health services. My daughter has BPD and experiences extreme reactions emotionally. Unfortunately a lot of typical BPD behaviour is manipulative - and very hard to deal with. She can swing between feeling suicidal to happy in hours, but self harm and suicide threats have happenned so many times - I take each time seriously - but after years its no easier - if anything I feel traumatised myself as a result.
I used to contact the Crisis team and her DRs but found neither were very helpful - mind you with her not engaging and accepting help I have started to leave it to her to contact them. ( she is 20)A lot of the medical staff say that they cant help if she isnt willing - but when someone is badly depressed/anxious they lose motivation and just dont care anymore - hence not caring enough about themselves to go.

I recently read a great book on BPD which helped me to cope with her. But I cant seem to get any DRs to take her seriously - I really believe she requires psychiatric help, but on the rare occassion she manages an appointment she presents herself very well and can appear to not have any mental health problems. Its like going round in circles.

Have you read up on your family members health problem? The book I read gave me great strategie to help myself and my daughter.

Hi Paige. Your situation with your daughter sounds very serious.
You have other people in your family that need your help and attention too. But in my opinion put your daughter’s needs first. Let her know how important she is to you. Also, make sure that she is allowed to make day to day decisions. Check that she is ok financially.
You or your daughter can phone the Samaritans for advice on 116 123.
Encourage your daughter to speak to other people such as friends and relatives if possible.
Don’t leave her on her own for long periods of time.