New to this site
I came across this while looking for help being a carer,
not sure where to start really, im 32 now with 4 children but have been caring for my mum for around 15 years after she was told she has a rare immune disorder, she looks like a normal healthy person but not many see the side i face, it first hit me i was alone with helping her when my dad left and i recieved a call from my brother panicing as mum had callapsed unresponsive and my sister who was home that day decided she wasnt interested took her self upstairs and ignored her own mum laying on the floor, i was left to put her in recovery position call the ambulance and travel to hospital, since then iv been there as much as physically possible to help,
As shes fit and well most days its not to hard her illness can affect any organ or body part at any time ( flares) one day she can be walking around cooking happy, next she can be in extream pain taking oramorph tramadol ext being tested for kidney liver failure ect,
She struggles alot with memory but is fully aware of things, the biggest problem im facing is her issue with money and not facing up to problems till its to late she struggles with money but as she has all her mental capability its on her to be in control shes had sevral eviction notices but thev always been resolved but during these times shes also fell in to depression and suicide attempts,
Now we are back here again with her possibly loosing her family home, she refuses to let anyone else know about this so again the pressures fully on me, i fear that if this time it cant be resolved is another suicide attempt imminent, i want her to get help before its to late but speaking my mind and telling her to prepare only sets of instance mood swings, i cant be good cop bad cop but i cant carry on like this
for my own family i need to be strong i need to keep bottled up i need to be the one who doesnt react who fixes the problems
But im finally feeling lost now not knowing where to go what to do and how to make this better again, The chances of her loosing her home are very high now but she will not accept this and is staying hopefull, which if you new her isnt a good thing if it doesnt work out it will bring her crashing back down
sorry just needed to express some of this to someone or noone as long as its not all kept in
New to this site
Are you able to share the rare immune disorder type. This makes a big difference in any advice the forum can offer you.
Are any third parties aware of her situation, such as her GP/CMHT or social services?
What is her actual diagnosis?
You can approach the adult social care team at your local council in the first instance also she should be having some immediate input from crisis team of the local MH services.
You have enough on your plate with your own family, and need to get some of these third parties involved for your own sake and your siblings.
Welcome to the forum.
It sounds as though mum needs much more help from Social Services, so that you can become mum’s Care Supervisor rather than hands on provider.
It’s always difficult when someone doesn’t have constant needs, but they should be able to arrange a variety of things to help. Top of the list would be a Lifeline pendant round her neck to summon help when she has a health crisis. If she isn’t aware herself when she has fallen, then there are now “fall alarms” available.
sorry i should have explained things a little better i was just so well mixed feelings when typing this lastnight, upset angry feeling lost
She has whats called behcets its a rare auto immune disease, which affects her in many different ways, she has contact with the crisis team, a counciller and very good doctors and specilists she sees regular but my concern is she is refusing to let anyone in at the moment she will not let anyone know of her possible eviction in less then a week,
she just clings on to hope it will be delt with and isnt going to happen.
again its just my self who knows but if this goes ahead its going to affect her badly again not just her but others around her,
personally i know mentally this isnt something she can handle, but i dont no who to turn to first to get help she has no trust in anyone and i feel like im stuck, do i go behind her back or do i keep this quite and pray for a good outcome,
Stress also triggers flares of her illness, usually resulting in inflamation around her heart landing her in hospital for 2-3 weeks at a time, where shes placed on morphine drips high steriod ect
I know this seems selfish but i feel like im expected to wave a wand and make things better everytime whilst keeping quiet i just cant keep going with this, the physical side of daily helping such as the cleaning ect im there min of 7am-3.30 pm monday to friday and any extra times i need to be,this is easy compared to sorting her mentally
Forum here for specific support for her autoimmune disorder.
You should to talk to her GP and crisis team about her mental health at the moment, so she can be given more support directly and supported/ signposted to help for her impending housing and debt situation.
You have to consider yourself your family and your siblings first and foremost.