Hi my name is Amanda, my partner is slowly going from me with the effects of multiple strokes. I need to speak to someone as I have finally hit rock bottom and don’t know what to do or how to cope anymore. I’m scared and frightened and I can’t stop crying. Please help

Amanda, you sound exhausted, what I call a Clapped out Carer, you’ve done so much for so long there is simply nothing left.
When did Social Services last do a Carers Assessment for you, and a Needs Assessment for your OH?

Do you need emergency respite care?
Are you getting any help at all with caring?
What has the last straw been?

Hi Amanda … some links to go with BB’s recommendations :

HOME CARE SERVICES … what’s available out there , and who provides them :


Getting a social care needs assessment - NHS


Carer's Assessment - Advice and help for Carers | Age UK

Hi Amanda, and welcome to the Forum,

I am so sorry to hear about your partner. It must be a dreadful time for you. I wonder whether it is worth going to your GP and see if he can give you something to get you through this difficult period. It is the old adage about putting your lifejacket on before you help anyone else.

It might also be worth contacting the Stroke Association and see if there is any local support in your area:

Does your partner need considerable physical care? If so, are you the one doing it all? As others have suggested, it is also worth contacting the Social Services Department of your local authority and asking for a care assessment. If paid carers can take away some of the load, it might be easier to cope.

I do hope you can find some support during this difficult time and in the meantime, please feel free to chat to us. We have all felt desperate at some stage or other …