Hello,
My youngest son (25) has a profound eating disorder and this has resulted in him being detained under Section 2 and treated in a general hospital. Currently he is having nasogastric intubation, and is allowed no oral food or fluid. He has been in hospital for just over a week and I have been visiting every afternoon to help him manage the inertia. He has a 1:1 mental health nurse with him 24/7.
My husband and eldest son live very close to the hospital. My husband is in a residential care home, and my eldest son is in supported accommodation in the same complex. I have been visiting them just before I see my son.
Although I have been keeping conversation and information light, assuring my husband and son that the youngest is in the right place and that he will improve greatly now. Indeed, he has a place at a residential eating disorder unit starting on Tuesday, the stress of the situation does seem to be affecting them.
My eldest is finding it hard to sleep and is finding the situation triggers memories of his own experience of being sectioned and so on. I have had a number of worried phone calls from him between visits. My husband has become even more paranoid.
They are both supported well by staff, but I am beginning to wonder if perhaps I should have kept this situation away from them.
There are no easy answers to this sort of situation. Is anyone supporting YOU?!
@bowlingbun thank you for the reply. I have support from a church group and my sister is now retired and I can pop down to see her much more regularly.
I think that, if my youngest gets the support he needs at the ED unit, he may wish to live more independently. He is 25, and he is keen to start his life. This will mean that there will be more ‘alone’ time for me. I work from home, so that takes some time, but once the transfer to the ED unit is settled, I will start looking for some opportunities to get out of the house a bit more and build up a network of support.
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After I was widowed I found a book called Starting Again, by Sarah Litvinoff. Originally written for couples separating, it applies equally for anyone facing a new stage of life. It considers what you would like your future to look like, what unfulfilled dreams do you have, in various ways, big or small. I loved travelling, I’d always wanted to learn how to sew an invisible zip properly (so I went on a sewing weekend. I’d never seen a live show, so I saw Kathryn Jenkins in Bournemouth. I was very happily married for 34 years. I live a different life now, but it’s not been easy! Your son might find the book useful too? It’s very easy to read, you can dip in and out, reading just one or two paragraphs at a time. It’s usually on eBay for under £5.