Sensor that detect falls

All about caring
21

Faye, The no-show ‘advocate’ and your solicitor need to know about the inadequate care your father is receiving. This lack of necessary care is contrary to the hospital discharge plan and it was the NHS or its agent (the ambulance staff) who directly caused the injuryury that now makes necessary your father’s double-handed care. Now he’s not even receiving the minimum required level of care, putting your father at further jeopardy and heightened risk. It’s also causing you angst and extra expense in travel (record mileage) and lost wages (or vacation time - days off work).

All those things should be factored in to any claim against the NHS/Ambulance Service for damages, in my view. Again, keep good documentation.

If the care agency continues its record of no-show, then you may need to initiate a safeguarding case against them.


Did the carers show up today?

22

Thank you for your kind responses. I just can’t cope anymore. I thought I was strong but I’m not. I’m weak and useless. I feel broken and can’t stop crying. Everything is wrong and I’m making my dad’s life worse - I just seem to hurt him. Am either angry or in tears.

Carers don’t turn up, aren’t on time and don’t do what they should. The council and agency shout at me and try to get me to sort it out or cover gaps.

Patient transport don’t turn up in time or struggle to transfer Dad - agin it’s my fault.

Referrals for continence services cancelled as he’s been in hospital for six months. Continence services say needs a referral from District Nurse , she says it’s for GP to refer, GP says it’s for hospital, hospital say he’s discharged. I end up having to pay for and buy pads.

Dad can’t sleep - he’s having problems breathing and hospital used to get him up at 4am for dialysis. He’s not safe in his own - council won’t provide care for over 65s at night- I will have to do it. 16 nights now on the sofa with no sleep.

Friends and family say they care but no one has been to help.

Phoned GP - can’t get an appointment for three weeks. Mental health crisis team is just an answe phone. No response.

He doesn’t want to go into a home. I don’t want him to. Council say there aren’t any suitable in London will have to be somewhere out of London and share a room. I would have to give up my job of over 20 years.

I’m so depressed and utterly exhausted. I’m taking it out on him but he’s the best thing in my life. J

Just what is the point.

23

Sorry I shouldn’t have posted such a depressing record. Especially not when others have it so much worse. I will try to get a cup of tea, pull myself together and ask Dad to forgive me (I’ve been awful).
The hospital /NHS won’t do a continuing healthcare assessment until he has finished six weeks of reablement. But they weren’t very positive about our changes (no severe /priority most likely nine high/medium). I think the council are going to try and cut the current double handed care package- it’s like we can’t win (if he doesn’t mobilise well he should be in a home / too well and we’ll cut the care).

I feel so lousy. I love him more than anything but I keep taking it out on him. Everything is a problem and none of it is his fault. He didn’t want to become disabled etc. I just wish I was stronger and more able. Sorry rant over.

24

Look Faye, we all have limits of endurance and it sounds as though you’ve reached yours.
No-one can function for long without sleep.
Ring your GP tell them you need help asap(your own health is at risk).
Maybe the Carers’ UK advice line? Age UK? If desperate phone the Samaritans.
Talk to someone. Pour it all out. You’ve done too much for too long.
Put your own needs at the top of the list.

25

Dear Faye I can fully understand all your issues been there done that, bought the t shirt.

The amount of times I had to fill in the gaps as the carer didn’t turn up, turn up at the right time, turn up at all, dozens and dozens.

These care agencies are getting paid thousands and thousands of pounds to provide the care, it is their job not yours to provide the care. It is not your responsibility or your fault if the carers car breaks down.

There is a limit to how much the human body can cope you are working, lack of sleep AND looking after your dad, you are not superwoman, you just can’t do everything.

The hospital should have assessed your dad before discharge for CHC, not just discharged him as “unsteady on his feet and at risk of falls” did you say.

The council/Hospital seem to think reablement will work, oldest trick in the book trying to get ill and elderly people strong and independent, just doesn’t work, seen it time and time again.

Really someone needs to take a lead in this Hospital Pals, the District nurse or the GP and say look this isn’t working you have an exhausted carer run ragged.

I don’t know what the word is a case conference, all the professionals need to be there, talk it through.

As another carer said to me they all need to be locked in and sort out a solution to this. All these people are qualified experienced professionals being paid lots of money.
It really is appalling sending someone home with minimal care, you need a break from all this temporary respite?
It is just impossible to provide care basically 24 hours a day 365 days a year, you might not be caring all the time but the stress and worry is there all the time.
“Dad can’t sleep - he’s having problems breathing and hospital used to get him up at 4am for dialysis”

It is clear that your dad needs a greatly increased care package-CHC ASAP.

26

Faye, you absolutely SHOULD have written that down. It says exactly how you feel, and marks the point at which your ability to care has reached a new low. It’s ALLOWED, especially here.
Is dad able to make decisions for himself? If so, ask him straight, does he want to stay in his own home, with rubbish care, or does he want to go into a nursing home, where he would have good care.
Ultimately, it is HIS decision.
If he cannot make a decision for himself, then health and social services need to have a Best Interests meeting for him.
You are doing your very best in an impossible situation. Sometimes it feels as if our best just isn’t good enough, but really how much more can ONE person do?