Happy to have found you

Hello, so glad to have found this forum! I’m 59 and caring mainly for my 88yo father who has essential tremor and a host of other problems. We also live with my mother, who, though physically fit and active fo rher age (also 88), is prone to falling (partly because she’s so active!). When she fell and broke her hip while planting cabbages in her allotment in the middle of lockdown when we had no external help, I was looking after them both and we all three hit a very low point. Dad would love every little thing to be done for him and hates me leaving the house, Mum hates anyone doing the slightest thing for her - even if she has had a major injury and then pushes herself too hard and risks hurting herself more. I felt torn apart between the two of them and was on edge 24 hours a day listening out day and night for cries of help or new disasters! My two sisters are amazingly supportive though they live two hours or more away, but of course couldn’t be here during lockdown. The worst of the crisis is now over, thankfully, as people can visit again and we have our lovely carer back to help in the mornings, but the experience showed us that I really need a lovely group like this to be able to let off steam, get advice and have a sounding board when things get hard… And of course, if my own experiences and thoughts can help others here as well, so much the better :slight_smile: Looking forward to getting to know you all.

Welcome to the forum. Do they both have pendant alarms?
You MUST go out for the sake of your own sanity. If dad wants 24/7 slaves, suggest nursing care!

Dad has a pendant. Mum wouldn’t be seen dead in one! We do have a carer every morning and Dad isn’t insistent on constant attention, it’s just that he gets anxious when I go out or am away. But he does understand that I need to sometimes and tries to be brave! :slightly_smiling_face:
I think my situation really isn’t as bad as some people on this forum - my parents are not inconsiderate at all - but it’s nice to check in with people who are going through similar stuff. It’s just sad seeing them get weaker and frailer and knowing there’s only one way this can end :worried: