Long story I’m sorry!
My Dad is 75 and i have suspected he has dementia for quite a long time but he has been managing and is yet to have a diagnosis. I have spent months worrying, trying to talk him in to seeing a doctor and also trying not to upset him.
Yesterday morning he had a fall and broke his wrist. During the examination in A&E he couldn’t answer a lot of simple questions, (how did you get here? What day is it? Where does your daughter live?) again the same today with a social worker in an extremely uncomfortable conversation.
I am very concerned how he will cope with a broken wrist/the cast/not driving and living in a village (yes still driving! He is stubborn and not easy to talk down) In the end we got him to reluctantly agree to having 3 visits per day from a support worker to check on him, if he needs help with food, personal care etc. I have two small children and don’t drive and I am struggling with the strain of holding everything together as it is.
This afternoon we drove him home and told him at least 6 times what was happening with the support visits. My husband rung him when we got home and also wrote it down for him. When the support worker arrived, he rung me and said your Dad is declining everything and won’t even let me in the house. I rung him only for him to shout at me that he knew nothing about it and had things to do. Yesterday my husband spent ten hours with him helping him at the hospital etc and he just accused my husband of conning him. He thinks everyone is the enemy or so it seems.
I fear my Dad is no longer in there. I don’t recognise him. I have so much fear and guilt and anxiety and grief. I have no siblings and my Mum died ten years ago. I’m lost and it’s all on me as there is literally no other family to help.
Should I put the pressure back on to social services? Should I battle with him and keep trying to get him to accept this help? I don’t know where to begin and I feel like I’m drowning desperately trying to keep my head above water.