Hello, I’m Bert, aged 79, physically fit and not expecting to need care for many years yet. But you never can know. This is very advanced planning. I did full-time parenting years ago, all over now and all dispersed and uncommunicative. I’m self-isolated in the over-large family home, just me and three cats but no friends or relatives, no visitors. I keep busy, I’m content.
I’m thinking of adopting (or being adopted by) another family. I have plenty to offer. I’m not sure how to start this or if it’s ever been done before? Ideally I should link up to another Grandparent in their 70s-80s who has 3 lower generations of family who support them, maybe 5-6 people, all ages. Including me could benefit us all. What does this forum think?
Hi @Bert70007 welcome to the forum. Well this is certainly an original introductory post! Your family are missing out though by not seeing you. Though spread out families are certainly common these days.
Hello Bert, what a thoughtful, generous idea. And yes, it has been done before, in many forms, even if it isn’t always called adoption. First, what you’re describing isn’t unusual at all it’s just rarely spoken about plainly. Many families would quietly welcome an extra, stable, kind older adult in their orbit, especially one who is independent, content, and has life experience to offer rather than needs to be “looked after.” You’re not looking for care; you’re looking for belonging. That’s a very human thing.
Second, the idea often works best when it grows out of shared purpose, not an explicit family search. When people set out saying we’ve adopted each other, it can feel heavy. When it grows naturally from shared activity, it feels normal.
Well the shared purpose is the support of an oldster by a family. I’m firstly looking for a person of my age and background who is decidedly against being put in a care home, which may be looming, or hates the one he’s in. I can give him/her a much better life, if we can get on together. If that suits, the family must then be persuaded likewise