Planning to Leave work

Hi All, im new to the forum and don’t know where to start with my situation!

My mum has severe arthritis along with other medical issues, she lives with me and my 4 year old son and until recently my partner. I work full time in a very stressful environment and recently lost my partner to cancer. My partner used to help a lot with my mums hospital appointments and school run for my son but obviously this is now all for me to juggle along with my job.

My employer until very recently has sympathised with my situation, allowed me time off to attend chemo with my partner and allowed leaving an hour early or nipping out to take mum for a docs appointment but now its becoming harder for my work to be done and making me feel a lot of pressure.

Anyway im thinking of leaving my job to become a full time carer for my mum. I have never claimed any kind of benefits, not even child allowance as I earn too much. Can anyone please advise what kind of benefits can be claimed should I become a full time carer, single parent? Thanks very much and sorry for the essay!!

can we ask your age. Are you in a good pension plan at work and how would this be effected.

The above benefits checker may help.

Put in the only income you may have if you let work.

You can do as many checks as you like.

Also do a check if you were to receive carers allowance. Just tick that box.

Do you own you own property or are you renting.

We need more information in order to help you further.
Know one can give a definitive answer. You only really only get this once you start your first benefits claim.

Hi Olivia … welcome to the forum … my condolences on your recent loss.

Many on the forum will advise you NOT to quit work … and the spell out some of the options available out there
… many exist on paper only , others can be very useful.

For my part , time for some number crunching as your welcome to the wonderful world of the UK benefit system.

An online benefits calculator … will give you a good indication of what benefits there are for your own circumstances :

In short , be prepared for survival … even life … below the Official Poverty Line.

After some crunching … and susbsequent confusion and shock … feel free to bounce any questions on that aspect off me
and other regulars on the forum.

Housing / caring … a little more and we can add our views and guidance on those vital aspects as well.

If renting , Housing Benefit can come into the equation … plenty more on that if needed.

Mortgage ? A nice trap may await you there … again , more available if needed.

Others will be along to extend their welcomes and guidance.

Mums age ?


I’m very sorry to hear you were widowed recently. I was widowed suddenly when I was 54, it changes everything.
Please don’t give up work yet, your employer still has a legal duty to make “reasonable adjustments” for you as you are classed as being “disabled by association”.

The first few months are very difficult, and until things have really settled down you might make a decision you regret for the rest of your life. You might never get such a well paid job ever again.
How old is mum?
Where was she living before she moved in with you?
Do you own, or rent, your home?

Your son must be top priority now.
That means that your role with mum should be MANAGING not providing her care.
In the next few days, write down everything you do for mum, however trivial.
Then shuffle the jobs into order of things you want to avoid doing.
Can it be avoided forever - things like flower borders come into this category.
Can someone else do it - ironing, cooking, cleaning.
That leaves things you MUST do. For me that was managing mum’s money, and of all things, picking her flowers and raspberries. Carers refused to do either of these, but mum loved her garden, and they were important to her.

My own mum was housebound for many years, always wanted me to run around her, but she would get a taxi to the doctors. I know you mum would prefer you to go, but that’s not an option now. It’s either get a taxi or voluntary driver, or move into residential care.

Does mum claim Attendance Allowance? What does she spend it on? It’s supposed to go on meeting the costs of her disability, things like having someone to help clean, cook, do the laundry etc. Does she pay for this sort of thing, or squirrel it away for a rainy day???