Person you care for stuck at Hospital on their own

Hi All, I don’t know if this has happen to anyone else or if it just the area I live in?
Yesterday I had to send my mum into hospital due to a fall she had with a bang on the head and did not look right. The ambulance came as I was unable on my own to pick her up off the floor but with the head injury did not want to move her due to the way she behaving from the bang on the head. Despite the rules of her going in on her own due to covid, we thought someone would be in touch with us as we did mention to the Paramedics that her mental health is not great at the moment due on going issues. (which are slowly being resolved as a lot of people are using the virus to hide behind )

I had my dad ring Pals at the hospital but they were either busy or there was no cover? so we left a message for them to get back to us. we did try ringing the department a few times but all we were getting was a prerecorded message saying ‘sorry all our phone lines are busy, someone will get to you soon’ we had this for a good few hours. I would have contacted the local carer centre the following day as they do have a support system up there also but the girl I have dealt with before was on leave and I was going to see who else I could have talked to, to find out about mum.

I decide as we had not heard anything by 7pm I would go up to find out how she was but also try and have a chat with someone to put them in the picture and make them aware about mum state of mental health but also to be careful what is said around her and is done. With people mucking her tablets around she not been great and I will admit things have been stressful at home but did not want her to get into trouble or not treated if she got into a state which would trigger her to play up.

I had to wait until someone came to see me from the nurse station, to speak to. But whilst I was speaking to other people who were either waiting to speak to someone like me or waiting to be seen to past the time. From what I could gather from speak to the people and from her mum had been put in a waiting area to be seen but as she was on her own and had wandered off,but was soon found and brought back to A&E and was taken inside the department for her own safety. When a nurse did come to see me , it seems like there had been a miscommunication over what mum was in for, I was told/asked how long had mum had a bad chest and I explained she suffers with Asthma but due to the messing around with her mental health her nerves were so bad that in the 7 years she had given up smoking she had 1 pack the day before real strong ones and smoked the lot in one go but I did not buy anymore. So That could be why her she was coughing or had a bad chest? But I said She was not sent in because of that but due to a fall and head injury and I explain what had happen and I did mention mum mental health as well .

I did not mention the wandering off as I did think perhaps it had not been her but later on when she got out of the department again, it had only been an hour since I been there that she asked someone to phone us to pick her up. Mum told us that she did wander off but also that she did not have a good time in there with the staff. I don’t know fully what went on as I was not present but from waiting I could see the place was in chaos, no seemed to know what was going on or what they were doing. It seem that they did not do all the obs or that they did some. Mum did say she was acting but that could be due to the mental health but she also knows how to run rings around people who don’t know how to deal with Bipolar and with a mix up over information it does make you wonder what had been going on. I know that though I was not allowed to see her, that they did let someone else visit or see their family member?even the rules are said no visitors to the Hospital due to covid but I did wonder if it was because I was a man and not a woman like the others that were waiting?

I have been keeping a eye on her overnight which I have done of late, even be a carer for two people, if others are not listening or negetling care? it does add to pressure of us that are carers that we are not being treated fairly by others. I will be pasting it on to the local carers office and carers wales office and I might drop a line to the Hospital board just to highlight things.

Michael, that does a very chaotic experience and not a very safe one for anyone who is vulnerable or has a life threatening condition/ injury. I think you should definitely act on this.


I have melly1 , I am waiting to hear from them about this to see what did or did not happen. As I have notice a change in her but need to prove it.

Hi Michael, sorry you’re having a bad time of it. My mum has been home for three weeks now after four months in hospital - November to March. I was not allowed to visit even though she was in critical condition with septic arthritis and with that had come severe delirium (previously mum was never even confused).

It was completely chaotic, with covid at its height, lack of staff, patients being moved from one ward to another seemingly at random, ward phones unanswered, and I didn’t get to speak to a member of mum’s consultant’s team for two weeks - no diagnosis, nothing. I tried speaking to the sister who insisted that as she was not looking after mum she knew nothing about her. The staff nurses limited themselves to what mum had or had not eaten, and said she didn’t seem confused at all. When I finally got to do a whatsapp video call with her she was still delirious, very confused and extremely distressed.

It was four months of hell. I’m sure people did their best but at times people were unprofessional and once or twice allowed themselves the luxury of being impatient with me. I lay awake weeping at nights knowing mum was frightened and alone, and desperately ill. She caught Covid in hospital just after Christmas, thanks to the relaxing of measures to allow mixing of households.

Mum is home now requiring full time care, and cannot do anything for herself any more - however I thank my lucky stars that I have her home and she didn’t die frightened and alone.

I do hope you have a better experience - PALS were very good with me, and after two weeks of pleading with nurses to speak to a dr, PALS had one of the team call me the day after I spoke to them. Wishing you the very best of luck with everything.