Hello, brand new poster here, so please forgive me if this has been asked a lot.
I’ve been caring for my brother, who had a stroke 16 years ago, which left him with left-side weakness. He received a full assessment from a social worker last week, and she seemed to think I should have been opening and dealing with his mail for him, but this is the one thing I have always left him to do for himself, although have had to urge him to when it has piled up on the worktop. He has always been adamant that he can deal with his mail, and that it is private, and he’ll do so when he gets his “head around it”.
With other health problems piling in this year on top of what he already had, I had several times offered to go through his mail with or for him, and still he was adamant he could manage.
And then somehow a form for P.I.P. was not completed, and not only has his benefits been stopped, but my carer’s allowance has also.
I am struggling to find the right people to talk to to get the benefits reinstated, and because I was already exhausted after 15 years of caring with no breaks, even though, compared to many other people, my load is light.
But I am wondering, how many carers do open and deal with the mail of those they are caring for, and are the carees happy about this? My brother has always been such a private person, and when one day I had to take the phone from him before he lost his balance, and a woman from the DWP started reeling off to me a list of bank accounts that my brother was supposed to hold, I was shocked that she was divulging what seemed to be confidential information to me, as though I would know all about it.
Should I know all of my brother’s private business just because I am his carer/sister?
And if I am to continue as his carer - because I believe the social worker who recently carried out an assessment still assumes I will be doing so, and I would like to be able to continue, because blood is thicker than water, and someone doesn’t stop needing care, in spite of now having no income at all since my carer’s allowance stopped, and no savings to fall back on - how would I go about convincing my brother to let me help him deal with his mail.