Partner has vascular dementia. Struggling to care for him

I’m new to this group. But desperately feel so lonely and isolated. Since my partner was diagnosed I’ve lost all my close friends and no one visits us anymore. Im struggling to work full time and then come home to start it all again. I feel so lonely and there seems nothing worth living for.
My partner is becoming g agitated and argumentative. All I do is cry everyday for the life I once had with the guy I fell in love with. Please help

Hi, in A crisis the Samaritans can and help listen and alleviate some of your social isolation…goodluck

Hi Samantha and welcome to the forum.

I suggest that you contact your local branch of the Alzheimer’s Society (despite their name they advise on all types of dementia). They also have an online forum called “Talking Point” which is very good.

when I was caring for my Mum (she had Alzheimers) I contacted my local branch and was allocated a case worker who was able to give me lots of advice and support.

You could also contact Admiral Nurses (if you’re lucky enough to have a branch near you). They provide support and advise to the Carer and, again, are very good.

Hello Samantha
I too am greiving for my husband. He is in a nursing home because of strokes and vascular dementia.
It’s extremely hard and heartbreaking. You, will eventually teach yourself to accept the agitated and agressive behaviour is not personal against you, but the frustration they feel. Not easy and doesn’t completely go.
Have you Power of Attorney? I highly recommend you try for that if your partner still has mental capacity to understand. My husband lost the capacity rapidly, and I had to go down the court of Protection route.
I absolutely agree with Susie, re admiral nurses if they are available in your area. Lots of practical advice as well as emotional.
Am thinking of you at this most difficult emotional time.

Hi Samantha,

I felt so for you reading your post with you feeling the way you do.

I just wanted to urge you, if you haven’t already, to go and see your GP and ask to be referred for counselling.

A few months ago I too was in a real horrible place. I felt dreadful … crying, vomiting (with stress) and utterly exhausted. Cut a long story short I eventually went to my GP who was absolutely brilliant. She listened to me while I sat there in floods and referred me for counselling. Your can do a CBT course (it might be online - not sure) or actual counselling. There are two charities I could apply to: Mind and Crossline for counselling. There was a waiting list for both but the wait was worth it. I have my last session of counselling next week. I feel a WHOLE LOT better and all of those symptoms have gone. Not saying I’m cured but I know I need to keep looking after myself to keep it that way.

Going to my GP was the best thing I ever did!

Best wishes.