Thank you so much for all your replies, even just reading them makes me feel less alone. I am 60 years old and am on my own, no partner or family of my own. My sister and brother in law, particularly my sister, do help and we share some of the care, but, whether it’s because I’m on my own, or because I live nearer my Mum, it’s me she asks or should I say, orders around the majority of the time. She is still in her own home, but realistically needs round the clock care I think, I’ll see what happens when she is assessed.
She has not has an assessment carried out since she last came out of hospital in June, so I’ll organise that asap. The Rehab Team have been in touch to say that they can come out to assess her mobility etc, so that’s a definite. As I said, she originally was considering a Care Home and my sister and I went to see one, which was very nice and when we told her about it she seemed to be positive, then changed her mind and said she’s fine in her own home and has everything and everyone she needs there and we are only a phone call away. I know we cannot force her to go into a care home, however, having spoken at length to my GP, he advises that we bring the subject up again and see what her reaction is.
it’s like the more I do, the more she expects me to do, and I know I need to be firmer about boundaries. Rhona, you have hit the nail on the head, I no longer feel like ‘me’, and simply like my Mum’s carer. She doesn’t consider for one second that I might have a life of my own. Although I am 60, I still want to ‘live’ and, having my own health issues to deal with, it would be nice, or should I say heavenly to have some time to do them while I still can!!
I have checked out the nhs website, and will be more proactive and seek out support wherever possible. I think I’ve mastered the forum, many, many thanks again for all your replies, they are a lifeline.