I’m new to this and still navigating where/how to post and find things and how the forum works. So far it’s amazing seeing the support given to one another. Just wanted to say hi and I guess what brings me here is that I’m struggling a lot at the moment in many ways.
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Welcome to the forum. I’m one of our Night Owls, often awake at this silly time of day due to arthritis! If you would like to tell us who you care for and what you are struggling with most, we may be able to share a few ideas that might help. Don’t worry about doing anything “wrong”. If one of our mods thinks a post might be better somewhere different, they will let you know, they are all current or former carers too.
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Hi @bowlingbun
Thanks so much for your reply! That’s good to know Mods can move posts!
I’m awake as my partner has psychosis and has been slamming doors and screaming at voices since 2am . I work as a support worker too and this happens a lot of nights a week and I’ve taken too much time off work already but I am so so tired. We have community team and access to crisis team and all info and advice is given but can’t be followed whilst my partner denies diagnosis. She has a lot of delusions mainly that someone is controlling her pain remotely and the pain amps up every time she has appointments for psych or other. She has many physical illness that are deteriorating due to psychosis and she would never ever neglect these issues or not turn up to appointments if she had capacity. I’m just so so tired, apart from her being sectioned for a month in October it’s been constant like this except for a good month she had in January . Med reviews aren’t a possible as she won’t engage or turn up. She has PNES seizures but refuses to go with paramedics to hospital as just about meets capacity criteria. I don’t know when it’s acceptable to leave . We’ve had 9 years together and she has had many physical health traumas but psychosis since July and this for me has been so much harder in many ways. I just feel I can’t continue. It’s not sustainable to be this tired and have constant panic attacks and stress and I drag myself to work most days I can but today feels horrific after hearing constant screaming
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That sounds an absolute nightmare. Impossible to have a normal life or relationship. I’ll start with a few basic questions to get a better understanding of where you are now.
When did you last have a Carers Assessment?
Was any support offered to you, to cope with your caring role at home?
When did your partner have an support or Care Plan from Social Services?
Has any support at all been offered to her?
At what stage is compulsory admission offered?
What happens when you are at work?
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I’ve never had a carer’s assessment. Am recognised by Gp as carer so I get vaccines free as my partner has primary immune difficiency.
Never been in touch with Social Services or had help with money as she is okay in that regard and had a good job.
When she came home from hospital in December (she was on a general ward for physical issues but was also sectioned on that ward with a psych nurse outside the room to ensure she didn’t leave) community team would check on her and when it was clear she stopped taking meds then crisis team come every day to administer until she is “fine” to be discharged back to community team.
Her care coordinator from the community team said there are support groups for family and partners but due to chaos I haven’t been able to follow up.
Due to a new habit of disappearing for days at a time thinking she’s going to a hospice to die or going on some mission her mum comes to ours so I can go to work. She doesn’t stay all day but just until my partner falls asleep or seems okay enough to be home alone. But it’s got to a point now where she’ll only get help if she’s in a situation and it’s involuntary. It’s just not possible to get her the help when she disappears or won’t engage or appears fine enough to have capacity. I don’t want to carry on as normal and wait for disaster and involuntary admission but at this point we’re all just waiting for that as it feels there’s no other way for her to access the help offered. Sometimes I come home from work and she’s just gone then comes back a few days later seeming fine but with an unclear story. The story doesn’t matter so much but during this time if I ask emergency services for help they say they can’t breach her human rights to locate her and that she’ll probably come home but if there’s a disturbance called in by the public then that’s when they would be involved.
Her closest relative can ask for an assessment we were told by a psychiatrist. So I guess we are pondering that but also hesitant as a lot of hospital trauma triggered psychosis in the first place
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@DaniG …welcome to the forum, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I don’t have any advice I can give you other than to say hopefully you will find this forum a great help as you can say what’s on your mind and others who have been or are in similar situations can help. x
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Hi @DaniG and another welcome to the Forum!
You certainly seem to have a heck of a lot to deal with and in addition a job which can be stressful.
I am an ex-carer having Cared for my husband, Graham, for four years since he suffered a stroke, until he died suddenly of multiple organ failure last December. I went from 24 hour a day care to nothing suddenly. I know what disturbed nights are like as I survived on snatching 2-3 hours maximum when having to deal with bed-changing 2 or 3 times a night at the worst time.
Other than Graham being fit and well, I would not change one second of those four years. I did not know what it would be like to have to deal with some situations, but I did it - like just about everyone else on here - because of love.
I can’t advise on your direct issues as I don’t have the experience, but please remember to try to look after yourself. I didn’t and although my doctor tried to warn me and get me to take breaks, he told me after Graham died that if I had carried on it would have been my funeral too! Looking back I can see how right he was.
You’re already finding that we share and support on here and you should never worry about asking any questions as no-one will judge you or think a question is silly. Also, if you need to unload, this is the ideal place as we all “just get it” as most of us have been there and know how it can be to feel alone.
Ah - just noticed @Sue24 has said made similar comments to me - sorry to copy you Sue !! 
See what I mean?
I am sure others with more direct experience will post soon. Try to stay strong today. 
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