New to the group

Hi. I am currently caring for my mum who was diagnosed with cancer over 2 years ago now. I just feel so alone at the moment. I guess i’m looking for somewhere to get some support, from people who may possibly understand. Not sure what else to say. Just hi all and hope to speak to somebody soon x

Hi, Sarah. You’ve come to a good place. People here come from lots of different backgrounds and experiences. Often they have been through similar circumstances and I hope you will feel at home here.

Hi Sarah, welcome to the forum. You will find lots of support here, some practical, some emotional. Many of us have cared for our parents, I’ve lost all four now.

Can I ask a few quick questions, so that we can give best advice.

How much help does mum need at the moment? Has she been able to have surgery and/or chemotherapy? Was it successful?

Whilst younger people seem to be able to “bounce back” from surgery etc., it seems that the older you are, the more affected that person becomes. After all, regardless of the treatment, they are getting older all the time.

Do you live with mum?

Lots of mums want their daughters to do everything for them they can’t do themselves, but it doesn’t have to be like this. My mum was physically disabled, and she ended up with care staff three times a day, plus a gardener, plus someone to run errands for her, clean and do her ironing. I’d always suggest getting clothes that do NOT need ironing!!


Thank you for all your support and kind words.
Since I last posted on here mum has been told they are unable to offer her anymore treatment. She has pancreatic cancer and liver cancer, both primary sites.
She had chemo which kept the tumour stable but she is now too frail to have anything else.
I know she just feels like giving up and I don’t blame her. All I can think is my poor mum. Life is so unfair

Hi Sarah,

My brother had pancreatic cancer, he died about 6 months after diagnosis, it can be very aggressive.
Your GP should have arranged NHS Continuing Healthcare for mum, to give her all the care she needs in the last few weeks/months. If he thinks mum is near the end, he can arrange this on a Fast track basis, arranging care in just 48 hours. Obviously I don’t know exactly how she is. Just as important, you should be supported too.
Does mum have a hospital bed? Is there anything you would like to help you care for her, or would you prefer her to move into a nursing home?
Sometimes, things can happen very quickly. Have you considered mum’s final arrangements, which funeral director to use. I know this is all horrible to think about, but it would be even worse if you were unprepared. That’s the voice of experience I’m afraid.
You also need to bring together all mum’s financial papers. Do you have Power of Attorney?
Is there anyone else in the family?

Fast Track NHS Continuing Healthcare ?


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Oh Sarah, that is sad news.
I lost my MIL to liver and pancreatic cancer, they are both severe and hers was less than 6 months from diagnosis.
I suggest you Google hospice services in your area. They are not frightening places, they are very supportive and many offer ‘hospice at home’ service and will be of support to both of you


Our local hospice was wonderful when dad was dying or prostate cancer, they had a “day hospital” and his condition was monitored all the time. As soon as they realised he needed something, it was done.