Hi
I’ve never been in a caring role but I’m now faced with caring for my mum who is unable to walk, depressed and dependent on painkillers. I’ve left my job to come and live with her. I’m not sure what I’ve got myself in to so would welcome chat from others in the same boat.
Welcome & Hi Gurdeep
Yes, caring is one of the most difficult job. And it’s much underrated and under valued. I wish you had come to forum before leaving you job. Maybe forum participants could have advised you on what you need to know. And make a more informed decision. However, you are here at lets see if we can help you.
There is help out there you are not alone. You need to connect to a local carers group.
https://www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/get-support/local-support
Who are a fountain of knowledge as is the forum.
What benefits does Mum claim? What are you claiming?
Does Mum own the house you live in.
Welcome to the forum.
Where were you living before you moved in with mum?
How old is she?
I firmly believe that we are all responsible for our own happiness.
You can’t make someone else happy, but you can help yourself. I have lots I could feel unhappy about, especially today, it should have been my 50th wedding anniversary, but I was widowed in 2006. However, I refuse to dwell on what I’ve missed out on, but prefer to celebrate the wonderful years we were together, and remember with a smile to myself all the fun we had.
Don’t let mum tell you what to do! It’s your life, your choice what you do for her, and what can be delegated to someone else, like cooking and cleaning. You are her son, not her slave!
Hello Gurdeep and welcome.
I am also caring for my elderly mum (91 years old). She is on Tramadol to ease her severe pain due to osteoarthritis and osteoporosis. Mum is housebound and hobbles around her bungalow with a walking stick.
I don’t live with her - I live nearby. My adult son also helps her with her chores and keeps her company.
My advice to you is to make sure that you get regular breaks - days off and holidays if possible. Start as you mean to go on. Do things you enjoy doing every day. Join a club where you can make new friends etc.
Try to keep some kind of social life so you don’t feel lonely, go for a walk each day.