New member

Thank you for letting me join ,my name is Tina and I care for both of my parents who have dementia .Ive stopped working to do this a year ago and now Im starting to feel the isolation .

Hi Tina, welcome to the forum.

I hope we can give you a few ideas to make life a little more bearable.
If you could give us a bit more information, it would help us give more focussed advice.
I know the following seem a bit random, but the answers are really important.
I often like the social care system to a game of Snakes and Ladders!

How old are your parents?
Do you live with them?
Do they own or rent their home?
Have over £46,000 between them?
Do you have DWP Appointeeship, or Power of Attorney?
Do you have any brothers or sisters?

How much help do they each need?
Have you asked Social Services to do a Needs Assessment for each of them?
A Carers Assessment for yourself?

Are they claiming Attendance Allowance AND exemption from Council Tax?

Hi & Welcome Tina

Sorry to read of both your parents with dementia. One parent to care for with dementia is enough but to have two. I do hope you have all that is available/entitled too you. Tell us why you are currently feeling isolated. Are your friends and family keeping in contact with you and offering you any help and support. Are you connected to any local carers groups. What part of be isolating is causing you to feel the more alone.

Hi Tina,

welcome to the forum.

Caring for one person with dementia is tough, so caring for two must be double the stress.

Do your parents require supervision at all times or are you able to leave them for short periods?

Are you getting any support caring for them?


I forgot to ask the most important question of all, earlier on.
Do you feel the time has come when your parents NEED full time residential care? It’s OK to say yes.

I know it’s not what anyone else WANTS, but NEEDS have to take priority.

Someone criticised me a few weeks ago, that I seemed to be suggesting residential as a solution to anything and everything.
Nothing could be further from the truth, however both mum in law, mum and sister in law all needed 24/7 care in their last year of life. Everything else had been tried and failed.

If you feel that there is something that would help your caring role, then feel free to ask for information.

Hi and welcome

Hi Tina

Gosh what a double whammy served on you, so sorry to hear both your parents have dementia.
You are not alone, you are here.

Caring can be isolating in various ways and increasing as conditions deteriorate and it depends on your outlook for how you see it, eg if you are an extrovert socialiser or an introvert or hermit. My life is on hold at present, I’m good with that.

I am guessing you have joined the dementia forum(s) and find them helpful too.

After a year I am guessing you have had the care needs assessments and carers needs assessment done and you have the emergency plan if either of them becomes unmanageable and you need the professionals to step in, if not you need to find out about it. Emotions, love and care for your parents aside, you need to have practical things sorted like who to contact in an emergency situation.

Have you gone back to basics to look at the help you can get eg charity sitters at home, admiral nurses for information and advice etc.

I don’t have any first hand experience of dementia but I know of a few who have and a couple who had to get the emergency intervention but I don’t know what that entails.

Don’t forget about you and be kind to yourself.