New member. Head spinning; how to handle current situation

I’m looking for advice about how to handle the current situation and what I am/am not allowed to do in the current lockdown.

I’m 61 and my mum is 87 and lives a couple of hours drive away, She is partially sighted and quite frail but able to manage reasonably with day-to-day living. She has a good network of friends and neighbours and people to shop for her etc. Just before the first lockdown my stepfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I won’t go into details about the past few months; suffice to say they have been horrible and distressing and have taken their toll on my mum both physically and emotionally. My stepfather passed away in early November. I am the executor of his will and for the last couple of months I have been splitting my time between my home and theirs, giving Mum emotional support, organising the funeral and dealing with all the paperwork etc.

My mum’s flat is tiny but I have access to a friend’s holiday flat in the same block; it’s okay for short stays but it is a bit cold and there’s nowhere to wash/dry clothes or store supplies of food. So I’ve been flitting back and forth between there and my place on a weekly basis. I have a brother who lives about 30 minutes drive from Mum who visits her when I’m not there but he has to work and has 3 small children aged 12, 9 and 3. I was made redundant from my job in September due to Covid closures but I’m managing on a small private pension.

I’m currently at home for a couple of weeks trying to catch up with household stuff and walking with my partner (we don’t live together and he has bubbled with my stepdaughter and our grandchildren to help out there). I’m asthmatic so have to be really careful myself so I don’t go shopping and have set up a good supply network here. When I visit Mum we still wear masks and socially distance inside with the windows open. I have also developed a form of OCD about the virus (don’t think I’m alone in this) which I am just about managing when I’m away from home but it’s a bit fragile.

Everything was reasonably manageable - though very tiring and a strain - until this new lockdown. Now my head is spinning with what I’m allowed to do; what it is safe to do; how to manage the next few weeks.

I think my first question is: am I still legally allowed to bubble with my mum and travel the 2 hours there and back probably fortnightly to make sure all is well, deal with paperwork and keep Mum positive and cheerful? Am I allowed to stay overnight? If not, what do I do? My brain is now so tired I don’t seem to be able to think straight on this.

Sorry if this is a bit long; would welcome some advice…

You are clearly exhausted, so need to think a little differently. I think you should gradually reduce your visits now.
Do you have Power of Attorney? If not, sort this out asap.
Then all mum’s bills etc can be redirected to you, and you can manage mum’s bank account for her. Make sure everything is on standing order.
make a list of everything you do for mum.
Decide which jobs can be done by someone else, it would be a good idea for mum to have a carer going in a couple of times a week to do cleaning etc. for her. If mum is claiming Attendance Allowance, this is the sort of thing AA is designed to be used for.
You say she has a good set of friends etc., that’s great.
Does she have a key safe?
A Lifeline pendant?